A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A man I like has cancer, should I go and see him? I haven't seen or heard from him for a while. We have liked each other for a while, but we haven't been in a relationship. I am devastated. I was out in a pub last night ,and his friend told me that he has a tumour in his mouth and he has an appointment in a couple of weeks . I'm not sure what the first appointment is about. I know where he lives, so I was wondering if I should just call round to his house. I'm not sure if that would look creepy though. I have been to his place before, but that was when I was invited. What should I say if I do go there?. Or should I wait and see if I bump in to him?. I cant contact him on the phone. His friend said he lost his mobile phone and he had to borrow his friend's phone to make phone calls. What should I say to him when/if I see him?. I want to tell him that I will be here for him if he needs any help and support and company. He is quite a lonely person, as he doesn't see his family much. I don't know if the tumour is benign or not. I think he will find this out at his appointment. How likely is it that he will survive from this kind of cancer?. Also, I told his friends to tell him that I had been asking how he was, if they see him, and I asked them to ask him to call me , if he wants to. I hardly slept last night, and I have been crying today. I cried last night when I got home too. I felt bad that my family saw me like that. This has been a terrible couple of years. Last year, my cat was put down. Then my granddad became ill. He has circulation problems caused by smoking. Then, my Uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer, and he passed away five weeks after he was diagnosed. Then, a few months ago, my mum's cousin had a benign tumour. She had surgery to have it removed yesterday. And now this. I feel like I am going to have a breakdown. I don't know how to cope with all of this.
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female
reader, Fari +, writes (20 September 2014):
 It is obvious that you like this guy. Nothing is wrong with visiting him, or calling him for that matter. It would show that your are concerned about his health and he would really appreciate your support in this time. Im very sorry to hear that he has a tumor but I cant say what the survival rate would be as I am not qualified and it would be better left to his doctor to do that. Dont let him see you stressed , depressed or anxious... even though it hurts , you have to be strong for him. Give him kind words of encouragement, be his rock, visit him, do what ever little that you can and trust me when he survives this , he is going to remember that you were there with him all the way and he is gonna love you for that .
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