A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HiI've been dating a guy for three months now. We see each other once or twice a week - its been all lovely and he tells me how interesting, fun to be with, and beautiful I am. He always asks me for the dates. We haven't talked about being exclusive, and have only kissed - nothing physically further because (for me) it's still early days.We last saw each other 9 days ago and, when he got home, he sent me a really sweet text telling me how much fun he had had and what a great person I am, and how lovely I am. But.... I now haven't heard from him in 9 days. This is unusual.I know that he's OK because he has posted a couple of things on FB (I know.... I'm at the FB stalking stage!).Any suggestions from all you wise aunties and uncles would be so appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2015): Hi there. It's the original poster here again.
Thank you for your responses, female anon and Tisha-1.
I have bitten the bullet and sent him a very short email. I haven't asked any questions about why he hasn't been in touch, I just asked how his week is going and that I hope it's all good. And I've very briefly told him what I've been up to.
You are right - it's better to know now than hang on waiting and wondering.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (9 September 2015):
 I think you sound like you've been handling it well, I don't hear you being overly keen here.
As you aren't exclusive, is there a possibility he's seeing other women and perhaps is getting closer to another one? Yes, I know you are on FB and can see his posts but perhaps he's not a full-disclosure FB type.
I think after 9 days, it's entirely reasonable for you to send a message asking if he's okay. Something like "Hey, I really did enjoy our last date. I haven't heard from you and wondered if you'd been abducted by aliens." Something light and jokey.
And if he can see your FB then post all kinds of wonderful things you are doing with friends. At the very least you'll save face when he turns out to be a bit of a social zero!
Nine days without contacting you? That's now at the rude stage.
Don't sit and wonder, ask and then you can move on! The worst that can happen is that he says he's met someone else. At least you aren't sitting around waiting for a response from him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2015): Hi there. I posted the question.I did text him the day after we saw each other. I said thank you again for an invitation he'd made for me to join him at an event in a couple of months. I also said that I would like to take him to a particular place that he'd like some time. After a few days of no response from him, I looked through our text and email exchanges and realised that I'd initiated contact with him about twice as much as he had initiated contact with me. So I wondered if I'd been contacting him too much and decided to give him space to contact me when he was ready. Also, that way I'd be sure that he wanted to contact me rather than respond to something that I'd sent him.So I don't really want to contact him as I did officially contact him last. And I am worried that perhaps I have been over keen....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2015): Have you tried to contact him?
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