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female
,
anonymous
writes: my mates liked this boy since the begining of year 7 2 years ago and now i like him!!!! he always flirts with me i dont want to betray my mate but i realy like him what should i do???
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2006): "I don't want to betray my mate." So even to you; a part of you deems this as a betrayal. So don't do it. Don't sit there and begin to rationalize to get what you want; do what is right and leave him as off limits.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2006): well if your friends has liked this boy for over two years and hasnt asked him out and your willing to i think you should go for it.
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (27 September 2006):
 You need to ask yourself whats more important .. your friendship or this boy?
Think about how you would feel should the tables be turned and what you would expect your friend to do.
I've always believed that as friends you do not go with the person your friend has been with, is with or that they like.
Good luck :o)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2006): If you have to ask what you should do, then your friendship with your friend isn't really that strong in the first place. You speak of not wanting to betray your friend - well, there are some very obvious answers here that I am sure you already know about.
Stina has some good suggestions, but ultimately, it's all about inner strength and compassion. Seems like u are dependent on external desires.
Reality check: you say don't want to go after your love interest because you don't want to betray your friend - however, you have that desire to accept him.
What I would do: if my friend wants someone that I may have an interest in, I'll give up on the prospect and support my friend for sure. End of story. It doesn't matter if she comes on to me, flirts with me, even tell me she likes me. If things work out between my friend and her, awesome, she will become like a sister to me - my friend (my brother's) companion. If things don't work out, she becomes a lost cause. Move on.
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (26 September 2006):
 Hi Anon,
If she has liked him for two years and then you are able to get with him, that would probably crush her, don't you think? Place yourself in her shoes - how would you feel if she got with a guy who you had a crush on for years?
There are lots of guys out there, but not too many good friends like what you have. Do you really want to risk losing a friend that you've had for years over something that might not last?
Think about it. I bet you have already decided what you're going to do.
But there's a way to turn this situation into a positive. Can all three of you hang out together? Don't flirt with him, though (duh). Maybe after they hang out together, this will help your friend get the guts to ask him out (or he could ask her out). Wouldn't helping your friend make you feel better than hurting her? Just something to think about...
Take care.
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