A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Kay I have poof that's my husband is cheating on me with a co worker. I found out by reading his emails. He stopped being wanting sex for a while and that just got me thinking there's something wrong. When I read one of his emails. It said that he is meeting the slut at a motel (he told he was going to see some friends without me). It also had the motel's address, the room number etc. I spended an hour crying about this and I think to leave him but I still love him to bits. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): you have enough proof, so confront him AND the co worker. even if he wants to somehow make amends for his wrongdoing, remember she is still very much a part of his life. SHE needs to know that you won't tolerate her messing with him as well. it takes two to tango and these two have both destrayed your happiness. i think if you discovere on the day which motel you should have rocked up there and confronted them both. no denying the evidence when you get caught with your pants down!
you need to be strong and also brave, work on the self esteem, work on the confrontation but you need to do all this soon, so that they do not get the chance to be at it again.
but you are nobodys fool and you are certainly not your hb's doormat. you need to weigh up the pros and cons and make a decision if he doesn't want to stop the affair.
good luck and be strong.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (24 May 2009):
 You need to see an attorney right away. None of this talking to him first about it crap! It is understandable advice, but unrealistic) Doing that simply gives a cheater an opportunity to continue and cover it up better. If you confront him, you will get what is called trickle down truth....
Listen, sweety. It is unlikely you are going to find out any real truth by asking him! How do you know you have ALL of his email accounts. You need to be getting rock solid proof. Don't show your hand!!!
Get yourself tested for STD's as well. Love may not be forever, but Herpes is. And you know of only ONE woman. There may be others. Can you trust anything he says?
NO!
In the event you decide to confront him,I would demand he hands over any and all passwords to his emails, cellphones, etc. An invasion of privacy? NO!! Hell if you are gonna go that route and wait it out you mind as well put a keylogger on his computer.
The attorney is key though. You have to make sure you get your finances in order. Cancel any joint bank accounts, etc.
If you cant trust him with his penis you cant trust him with your money.
The reason I am against confronting him at this time is because Cheaters are master manipulators. Once confronted, he is gonna make all sorts of promises to you and protestations. And then you will get trickle down truth.
"It was only one time....
It didn't mean anything"
Then he will make you feel one thing that will make you want to hang on...for you may feel that "he is different, and you will want to believe him, because you love him. You'll want to hang onto that thread that there is hope.
And it will seem that way for a little while, until he thinks your guard is down...then he will start it back up again.
Do you want to be subjected to this one second longer?
Get away from this bum!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): def leave this LOSER
he has no respect for you
xx loads of luv x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): I was so sorry to read this,.. I know exactly what you are feeling... I had the same happen to me. I confronted mine, and he denied it all, I said I would give him a second chance, which I tried to do but I just couldnt trust him again so we parted 12 months ago, and although it was hard at the time, I am a much happier person now.
You need to talk to him, tell him you know, it might wake him up and realise what he is going to loose if you split - if men can get away with having their cake and eating it, they will... well some men anyway. If you think that you can forgive and move on if he is in agreement then try it... but you most think long and hard whether you can... My problem was I couldnt forget!
Good luck hun.... but dont be scared of the big world, you are probably stronger than you realise!! x
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (24 May 2009):
 I would talk to him about it first. Tell him what you found and give him a chance to work on the relationship. If he doesn't want to work on it, leave. If he does, try counseling.
I know this is hard and I'm sorry this happened to you. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): the obvious answer is leave him. but since you think he deserves another chance - confront him. its the only way...
"If you know x's name say how are you and x these days?"
he is not that into you that he can do it- go and find someone who is. someone who really really is.
Hug, Star.x.
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