A
female
age
30-35,
*isingstar624
writes:Alright, so here's the scoop.My ex boyfriend and I broke up in 2014ish around there. After we broke up we kept talking off and on for like 4-6 months. In that time he never dated anyone else and I had a new rebound boyfriend. Everytime I would ask him to get back together though he would turn me down. A few months ago he unblocked me on Facebook and hit me up. Turns out he has a girlfriend now. But she lives in Texas. He would only hit me up late at night and whenever I would ask him why he didn't talk to his gf he said she wouldn't understand. So I started ignoring him. Then one night I caved when he asked me to meet up with him. I really wanted to see him and it had been over 6 months since I saw him. We talked and of course I told him I still love him and he told me he loved me too but that he couldn't just dump the girl he was with now to get back together with me. That he and I were in the past and that he wanted me to find somebody awesome. I cried. A lot. And he told me all he wanted to do was hold me and kiss me. After maybe 2 hours I finally calmed down. Almost making peace with the fact that I lost him forever when I gave him a hug and he said this is off the record and kissed me. Then I of course tried to kiss him again and he said no that he didn't want to cheat on his girlfriend. Which. You already did. So I sweet talk him into making out with me a little more but he is very edgy about it. It was about 3 am and I told him I had to go home and he asked if he could get a blowjob. I said no. Maybe next time. Then we talkedOn Facebook for a bit. I deleted his number a long time ago and he wouldn't text me. He said he was terrified his girlfriend would find out and whatnot and made me prove that I deleted our message stream (I didn't) and then he told me not to talk to him for the next 5 days because he was going to be in Texas with his girlfriend. So I waited and then I started panicking because he is packistani and she is Indian and I was convinced he was getting an arranged marriage. Which is what he told me he would do if we didn't work out. So he eventually answered me after I pestered him and he said it wasn't and was very curt with me and I said I was sorry and I would leave him alone. I haven't messaged him since. He is my friend on snapchat though and he is constantly viewing my story. He has sent me snaps in response to my story but I don't send him personal snaps. He also changed his Facebook picture and cover photo so that girl isn't in it anymore. And he would always do that to me either when we were fighting or when we broke up. So I don't know if he broke up with her or what. But since then he has sent me a few snaps and I really want to talk to him and ask him if they broke up but I can't handle him telling me that they are still together again. We aren't friends on Facebook so I can't check that way and even if I looked at his relationship status it said he was single the whole time he had this "girlfriend". I know that this all sounds really bad but he was the strongest love I ever had. I am plagued by nightmares of him telling me he wants to get back together and then not leaving his girlfriend to be with me. I want him back and I know I shouldn't but I do. Should I message him to see if he's still with this girl? Does that make me seem desperate? I just miss him and I haven't found someone I loved as much as him since. I need advice. Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 December 2015):
 I understand that you love him, but you need to give yourself time to heal and the only way off doing this is to block him from all social media and have no contact. I have a feeling you are not going to do this but that's what I suggest if you want to heal and move on with your life.
This guy met up with you in hope off having a little fun, then he freaked out in case his girlfriend would find out, this to me shows that he cares if she finds out or not so therefore he must want to be with her, also this means that he does not see you as girlfriend material. To me he sees you as an easy target, he knows you still have feelings for him and instead of being a decent man and letting you recover he asks for a blowjob. He cares about himself, not you. You need to let go, all he is going to do is use you. He doesn't want you as a girlfriend, I know this is harsh but he is an ex for a reason, and it is time you moved on and got on with your life.
A
female
reader, Lady Green  +, writes (9 December 2015):
Hi,
Truth be told, I am too struggling with breakup.. But I feel ur case a bit more serious as to compared to mine.. I think u need to see him as a monster.. Here some of the things I see the monster in him..
1. U two aren't together, but he stringing u along
2. He is in relationship with someone else, but like having u on the side
3. You already asked him to reconcile, but he obviously choose the GF
4. Asking blowjob..? Really..? Do u really need us to point that one out..?
5. He is obviously not stable and insecure, and he turn u to be like him too
Us, women, we love easily and hard to fall out of love as to compare to men.. But we are strong.. We still love despite the poor treatments.. But in this case, since u still love him, do it quietly and try to ignore it.. See him as a monster he is.. Keep in touch in here for supports..
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