A
male
age
41-50,
*ichael121
writes:VIRGIN AT AGE 28! I NEED ADVICE!Hi,I am a 28 year old male VIRGIN. I have never had sexual intercourse with the opposite sex; no girlfriends or sexual relationships. I dare not tell anybody of my personal situation- the humiliation and ridicule I would suffer will be terrible! I do'nt want people to feel sorry for me; I just want advice on how I should tackle my situation. I can not take any more- I feel abnormal being a virgin at my age! I think that a medical condition called hypogonadism (which leads to low levels of the male sex hormone testosterone) could be the ultimate reason why I am still a virgin at my age. Do you think that this could be the case? After all, testosterone does influence male behaviour, including male sexual behaviour. I know that once I have lost my virginity for the first time, I will feel like a normal man again. But, until this happens (and it better be very soon, I do'nt feel worthy of the word 'man'. Come on, most peole have lost their virginity in their late (or even early) teens! And I am 28!I have spoken to my doctor about this, but she really is'nt interested in my problem; my doctor will not even consider a referral to a sex/ relationship counsellor or psychologist. I am really missing-out on life because of my problem, and I am not getting any younger!!! I miss the company of a young female and I have yet to experience sexual intimacy as a part of a loving relationship. God, I have'nt even kissed (I am referring to the 'sexual' type of kiss-not a peck on the cheek by Mom or Grandma!!) a female in my entire life!Many men nmy age are settling down with families, but I have not even experienced a kiss with a young female, let alone considering marriage and starting a family!I really do need to sort my problem out before I get too old!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): I know how you feel there. I'm in my 30's and I'm still a virgin! But you may want to reconsider a kiss just for the sake of it. I received my first kiss at the age of 25. The thing is, I thought she was in love with me, and it was our first meeting IRL(we met in ychat,and hit it off immediately). Anyway, after that meeting, she revealed she didn't feel anything for me, and kissed me out of pity. It hurt alot. And after her revelation, the kiss felt terrible as well.....
Anyway, make your own decision. Hope you don't get hurt...
A
male
reader, adultmale  +, writes (18 July 2009):
Hi,
I am in the same exact situation as you when you first posted.
So I know the feeling.
For me it's shyness+social phobia.
That is what I think anyway. Please feel free to get in touch with me. I know I will not be able to give you advice how to solve your problem but at least you can take comfort in that there are others in the same situation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): Hi, i think you are a really great guy. there's nothing wrong or abnormal with being a virgin at 28. i'm 24 and my boyfriend's 27 and we're both still virgins, when we are ready we'll go all the way.
abstinence is a choice and people should not be made to feel abnormal just because they have not had sex when it seems everybody else is doing it.
you just go on enjoying your life, when the right person comes along you'll be glad you waited.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): I think it would be difficult to stay a virgin into your 30s without already having a pretty good idea about what's causing it. At least whether it's physical or psychological. If it's physical, get it treated. If it's psychological/intimacy issues, then start trying to deal with that. It may be a long process, but get started on it. If it's just a matter of never having been in the situation before, then it's on you. You just need to start making enough trips outside of your comfort zone to put yourself in a position to have sex with someone. After a while you can't rely on the rest of the world to arrange it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): I'm in your boat, but my boats been drifting out to sea a lot longer than 28 years. I used to get bothered about not having sex or finding a partner. The more i tried the frustrated and depressed i got. Until i said stuff it, i'm going to live my life and not worry about. One day i will go and have a hooker, if it really gets to me. But my hand has done some work in saving me cash, but do feel empty not losing my virginity at 40.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2008): Damn it, if I wanted sex with a hooker, I would have done it ages ago!! I am not that kind of person; I think that prostitution is distasteful. I want my first time to be special- these dirty hookers must have countless assorted wands inserted into their STD-ridden holes on a daily basis! I want to experience sex as part of a loving sexual relationship. OK, I would be willing try a 'one night stand', but I do'nt see why I should have part with my cash and pay for sex with a dirty hooker (and probably end up with some kind of STD). I want my dignity to remain intact.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (12 August 2008):
 You need to look at the source. It could be a lack of hormone, or it could be emotional. You could be trapped in a repeating behavior pattern that keeps you out of relationships. It could be based on an emotional dysfunction.
If not, it could be that you are just really really shy and missing out on the basics of being social with women.
I do consultations for adult male virgins.
http://franktalks.com/?content=frankseminar_amv
Read the reviews, and see if some of the info there could be of some help.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 August 2008):
Well all I can say is that it won't happen if you sit and type about it on the internet.
Go out with some mates and get drunk and talk to girls. Flirt and get closer and I am sure you will find someone who will snog your face off before the night is through.
As for sex, well you may get lucky but USE PROTECTION if you having casual sex. Either that or advertise on a dating website. I am sure some women would find it a turn on to be your first time and "teach you".
It's only the internet, what harm can it do to tell people on there?
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, Banks2020  +, writes (12 August 2008):
damn dude...if i were you i would save up a couple hundred dollars and go buy a box-o-condoms and a hooker and break the ice...screw all that i want the first time to be special shit...u need to tear down the walls son. You are probably not facing any abnormal testoserone levels..your just not successful with women...not many guys are.I think u need to either buy a hooker or go to a sex dating site. Not a dating site like e-harmony but a strictly sex networking site to find some lonely girl with the same issues as yourself and tear that ass up...Im not bullshitting when i say this. Your going to have to do it eventually if your serious about all of this. I had the same problem myself for awhile and i did just that. Afterwards i began nailing chicks like every other week and now i dont even know how many it has been.Im positive that your problems are not unique..you just have to figure out a sure plan to get some ass.U must be a desperate "MAN" to have to write on this website but hell that just shows that u wanna get laid and that alone makes you a man...a typical one at that...good luck and go the sure way with money..its their business and noone has to ever know
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