A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey all, sorry for any vagueness in this post. I’ve got a problem with one of my best friends. We’ve known each other for 3 years now and we went through periods of being really close. He used to tell me everything that was bothering him and I’d do the same, we would help each other out and we have stood up for each other more than once. Anyway in the last few months, well he’s been off travelling and when he came back things don’t feel the same. I email and text him but a barely get a response. When I see him out and about we will talk a bit and then just look at each other, I seem to keep having a mental block because an hour later I can think of loads of things I want to ask or say but when were together… nothing. I suggested we go to some events together and previously he had been keen but now he isn’t. He seems to be getting on with all of our other friends but we just don’t talk anymore. I thought we were heading in this direction once before but we both bounced back, but now it’s happening again and I think to myself, if only I didn’t have these mental blocks and could think of something interesting to say. I’m all out of ideas to be honest and maybe I should just move on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2013): Cool! You have a good friend, so does he!
Rock on, brother!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, thanks Wise. I guess that is true and to be expected. Well since posting this, we have been in contact and he said sorry and thanks for my support and he wants to meet up next month when he gets back from his latest trip. I guess you were right in that he obviously misses me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2013): You don't have to move on. Just give each other a bit of space. Allow the time apart to let you miss each others company.
When he traveled, he grew and changed. He matured some. There comes a time as we age; we do grow apart from even our closest of friends. That's because we relied on each other so much at one point in our lives, but then events may put us in a new direction. Our outlooks change.
Then the time comes when we just wake-up, and suddenly see the world and our relationships from a different perspective.
Sometimes it's subtle, and sometimes it is in profound ways. You feel a mental-block; because in his absence, you got used to focusing on other things. Your friendship is still important; but not the center of your life as it once was.
You find yourself at a loss for words; because you both see the changes in each other as men. You realize you're both are heading in different paths in your lives, your interests are changing, and you shouldn't feel bad about that.
The bromance has plateaued, and guys just have to move on
in their own directions. To meet again at another stage in life. You keep in touch, it fades, and nostalgia rekindles the feelings. Then you catch up on each others lives. There is always Facebook. You'll never lose track.
You had time to get into your own thing while he was gone, and he did the same. That's just how it goes.
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