A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I’m 17 and a junior in high school. Ok so there’s this guy I like for almost 3 years now. Yeah I’ve had little crushes here and there, but I’ve always put the guy I like first. We always almost end up dating, but it never works out and I always end up getting hurt. Well all my friends are guys. I have very few friends that are girl. I don’t know why I’ve always just hung out with guys more. Well over the years some of my guy friends developed crushes on me. But to me there just friends nothing more. The only one I feel anything towards is the one guy I’ve liked for 3 years. Well lately my friend I just met this year has a huge crush on me and wants to go out. To me he’s just a friend, and I tell everyone this but everyone keeps trying to set us up, even the guy I like. In middle school I dated a guy because he liked me and I wanted a boyfriend and things ended up terrible. Just recently we were able to get our friendship back and I just don’t want that happening again. I hurt him so bad and I don’t want to hurt anyone else that bad any more. Everyone keeps telling me to date this guy though, and I was thinking it, but he’s not my number one. I know that if I were to date him he’ll always come second to the guy I like. That’s just going to make things worse. People say to give him at least a chance, but I don’t know. I haven’t given up on the guy I like yet. He means so much to me, and I’ll wait for him because to me he’s worth it. But I’m not so sure anything will happen because we keep almost going out just never actually happens. I care about him so much though that it doesn’t matter if we’re official, being with him makes be happy. But I’m so confused because I hate getting hurt so many times, and yet I don’t want to give up. And all this pressure of going out with the other guy makes things worse. I keep telling everyone there’s nothing going on, but that does nothing because people think what they want. And also since I only have guy friends, the guy I like keeps saying that I like all my guy friends. That’s not true at all, yeah I treat all my friends the same, but I know I only like him and one him, no one else. But I don’t know how to show that it’s only him I want. Yeah I’ll tell him I only like one guy but I want to show him so he’ll believe me. I just don’t know how though. There are just so many things going on that it’s all starting to get overwhelming. Please help, thank you so much.
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (22 January 2011):
 You will always have this problem, the guy you like won't make a move because he feels like he is in competition with the other guys. Do you only hang around with guys because you like the attention, maybe that is showing through and the guy you like doesnt want to be a part of the gang so to speak. I wouldnt go out with the guy that everyone wants you to be with, don't let them pressure you. Hold on for the guy you really want. In the meantime, you could try hanging out with some girls, they really do have so much more in common than boys.
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