A
male
age
41-50,
*hrispy
writes:I just lost the perfect girl... for me anyway.What do i do?I have dated and lived with me ex for 3 1/2 years. We have moved From Atlanta to Miami and back to Atlanta. When we lived in Miami (where i grew up) she was unhappy and then the news came that her mother had cancer. I told her right away that if she wanted to go back home i would try to get a transfer and i did. While in Atlanta she got a new job working at a local bar and started to love her job(school and i took the back burner). After a year in atlanta i noticed that i was verry unhappy and made small moves in my life to make changes, the first change was for me to take a new job with a diffrent company, this turned out to only make matters worse. She made a lot of friends at work and i started to feel like i was loseing her. She started to drink very heavily and i began to get concerned. The drinking caused her to sleep all the time and i started to stop wakeing her to do things together. This continued on for six months until we ended our lease and we looked for a new apartment( i started looking for a 1 bedroon apt on the side). We found a place that we both realy loved and i thought well she must not want to end our relationship because it ment we would be in the apt for another year. I was wrong, she told me last week tomarrow is my birthday. I feel so hurt what should i do?
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male
reader, chrispy +, writes (26 February 2007):
chrispy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice.. some helped...The most current infrmatioon i have is not good. my ex girlfriends mother was told last week that the cancer is not cureable. i got a call from my ex a few nights ago she was understanably upset and i tried my best to console her.she asked me to visit her mother and i'm going to see her today, mind you not to salvage my broken relationship but to try to comfort her mother who was a big part of my life the last 3 years. i do however think its odd that my ex called me i have made verry little effort to contact her in order to give her space. she is also draging her feet on breaking complete contact buy makeing plans to come by my apartment to get some things she forgot(she could easliy come by when i'm not home). i don't know i still love her with all of my heart but i'm not so down that i think i need her to survive.
A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (8 February 2007):
 Hi Chrispy, check this link. Lots of other guys in the same situation. Take care
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i--find-it-hard-to-move-on.html
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A
female
reader, Jovial +, writes (8 February 2007):
 Dear Chrispy
i am sorry about all this. you moved so that you can give her more support and it seems that support was not appreciated. but i think she is grateful but doesnt know how to show it as her mother's illness might be the one triggering all this mess in her life and i think she didnt even see how much you were hurting, as she is so wrapped around in her own little world feeling sorry for herself. did she ever tell you how she feels about her mother? why was she not happy in miami? anything to do with the relationship? i think what you need to do right is to take your time out you did everything you could to make her feel loved and appreciated and it just didnt work out. accept she wants to move on with your life and move on with yours, you are both not happy with each other right now and it will just keep you apart. be her friend if she wants to and if you know you can handle being her friend but most of all move on with your life, you will soon find someone you can be happy with.
jovial
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