I have lost my best friend by listening to lies other people told me, I am sad all the time over this, what can I do to feel better, and also not feel so insecure?

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

it hurts me that an ex bestfriend didn't say happy birthday to me. We were best friends, almost like sisters for 5 years and every time on our birthdays we went out both our families together at this reasturant. This year nothing happened and I wished that maybe atleast she would message me or something and say happy birthday but she never did. it bothers me a lot. We are only ex's because she ditched me for other people and then i was mad and just trashed her for two people who told me lies and i grew more mad over time. she was even going to plan a suprise party for me and cancelled it because one of the two people said i would never come to her house. and i would if i knew she wanted to be with me again. everyday it breaks my heart and i want to cry because it was like she was my soul mate. not in the romantic way but in that friend way where you find the friend meant for you forever. From the start people have told lies to both of us to try to break us up and i feel its all my fault and i want to change it all im even crying now just thinking about her and the things we did. It hurt me so much she just scrapped me aside and told me "its highschool and you're supposed to make new friends". I cried on and on for months and was extremly depressed. I loved her so myuch and i still do but i can't tell her because she doesn't even answer my ims,messages, or calls. I tried very hard 3 weeks ago for us to see a movie together and she always said okay i'll call you tomorrow and say if i can or not. she would never call me and days later i would get in touch and then she would make up some excuse. It just seems she tried and i shut her down, and i tried and she shut me down. What do I do?? I mean if we can't be friends in high school then maybe when we have graduated?? i care for her so much, everyda of my life i miss her. likfe half of my soul is gone and i feel lost because i trusted all of the wrong people and they have now betrayed me. Please help me i lost my sister, the only one that i should have believed in and been with. I thought i was over her in january and never wanted to go back but I want to atleast be friends I really want my old ***** (her name). Not this new one who is a poser emo, and listens to screamo. I want her to talk to me for hours and let me help her with clothes. I miss her everyday and I just can't help but with the two betraying me and now i can't even talk to her and confide in her i just feel what can i do?? I really want to switch schools. I would feel better being this girl that has no history, and no friends or maybe a few friends. My parents wont let me but they don't understand. I have bad thoughts everyday and i can't pull through with what has happened to me. I just can't go to school september 3rd and feel like this. I mean i just need to feel secure with myself and all. I can cry all i want but it will only leave me at how i felt months ago but i always feel everything is my fault and i hate it. I'm sick of feeling this way.

View related questions: best friend, depressed, insecure, soulmate

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A female reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (21 September 2008):

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2008):

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A female reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (13 September 2008):

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