A
female
age
30-35,
*shie31
writes:I have huge trust issues. i have been with my boyfriend for a year and half now. since i was in a car accident i have been staying with my mother and its about an hour from his home. i have been with my mom here for nearly three months and he has only came and seen me once. i have asked him so many times to come see me but he fusses at me everytime i ask like i should have known better than to ask. it makes of feel like nothing to him anymore. i only get to see him once a week for right now. when i see him its like he is there physically but not mentally. he dont act as affectionate as he used to. he used to be so nice and sweet and always hugging me and saying i love you like a hundred times and now when im with him he just ignores it sometimes. i just wonder since i have been gone if he is seeing someone else cuz he is going to school but i want to have faith in him that he wont hurt me but i just have doubts like everybody else sometimes. he talks about cant wait to marry me and have kids and have a family and living together. when were together it can be great but when were not with one another its like bitter sweet and different. i just dont know what to do?! i need so advice
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): Look at the facts that you've presented:
1. He fusses at you when you ask him to come visit, as you've recently been in a car accident and are probably still in a recovery period of sorts.
2. You are only able to see each other once a week because he's busy with school.
3. When you are together, you feel ignored and as though he isn't very interested in you anymore.
4. He talks about wanting to marry you and be with you, etc.
So, I have a few questions for you.
1. When you hang out once a week, do you just sit around on the couch and watch TV? Could it be that he's incredibly bored and when he sees you, he doesn't want to just sit around, but rather do something fun?
2. Do you make any effort to go see him? If you only ask him to come visit you, but you don't make an effort to go where he is, maybe he's upset that he has to do all the traveling. If you are afraid to drive (as is totally reasonable if you've just been in a car accident), you could try to take a bus or train or catch a ride with a friend.
3. If he can't wait to marry you and live with you, have you guys talked about the future? Is he planning on making a move, or is he waiting until he's finished with school first? If he's only talking about it, but hasn't taken any steps to prepare for it, then maybe figure out how serious he actually is. Sometimes people are all-talk.
Best of luck to you. Please give an update so maybe I can offer better advice or so that others can. The more information we have, the easier it is.
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