A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey Aunts and Uncles, I need some advice on how to get a date with this girl I met recently. So here's everything you might need to know in order to give me something good:We met in the university, in our psychology class, 2 weeks ago. She was in the same group that I was when we were doing some group activity where we had to do some kind of puzzle related to the class. So when we were done, the professor told us (the group) to hand the paper back to him, so before we turned it in, I took a picture of it so I could use to study later (that was coming on the test). She saw me taking the picture, so she asked me if I could send it to her, but not VIA text message, because she can't receive pictures through her phone. So she gave me her name so I could look her up on Facebook. (Also, she gave me her phone number, I don't know why, cuz I really didn't need it if I was supposed to send the pic VIA Facebook) so I took that as a sign of interest on me.So when the class ended, we parted our separate ways, and I went to my apartment. I got on Facebook, look up her name, and there were kinda like 250 girls with her name, and I didn't know how she looked on her profile pic, so it turns out I needed her phone number. So I texted her, asking her for more specifics on how to find her. She told me to look for her on the Friends List of the group we both had joined for the Psychology class. So I went on the class's profile, looked her up on the friends list and found her. I sent a friend request. But she never accepted it.The next class,(well actually it was the 2nd class after we met, but I was absent on that first class after we had met) the day of the exam, before I could say anything to her, she turned around and faced me, and told me: "I'm so sorry about that (not getting on FB and adding me so I could send her the picture)." I told her she didn't have to apologize, and she told me she couldn't get on FB cuz she had a practice of I don't know what(I don't think she told me, I think she only said "a practice". So, I only said: "ohh, it's alright" (Its not like she did me any evil...) Then, she asked me if I had studied for the test, I said yes, she asked how much, I said "sort of a lot, I read the entire chapter twice, but I have some doubts, cuz I had been absent on the previous session. Then, to my surprise, she said: "oh so that's why I couldn't find you in the classroom!!" (I took that as another sign of interest on me) So I asked her a couple things about the stuff coming on the test, that was about to begin. So the test started, IT WAS EASY, finished it in 22 minutes, so the professor told me I could leave, and so I did.Then, we didn't see each other until the next week, on tuesday (the exam was on thursday, of the previous week). I don't think we talked at all that day, but that's because some girl on her 5th year in college was giving some speech about psychology, so we had to listen and we couldn't talk, that lasted the whole period, so we didn't get to talk. Then, 2 days later, on thursday, TODAY, the professor discussed the exam, gave out the answers and we got our grades (I got an 88/100). But it wasn't just like that, the professor had us get on groups again, and RE-DO the test, cuz she wanted to check if we didn't just memorize the whole stuff and then forgot it after the exam. The professor randomly assigned numbers to people, so the people with the same number got together and started doing the exam. SHE WAS IN MY GROUP! AGAIN! And this time, there was a bit of contact, her elbow and hand kinda touched me some times, it seemed accident, but... then again it didn't seem like accident to me. We spoke more today, nothing special, just about the exam, how we think we did, and all. Then, nothing more. The class ended and we went our separate ways again.That's all I can say on how we met and how we interacted.Now, lemme tell you more about me. I'm 5'10", 170 pounds, atheletic, dark hair, brown eyes, white skin and a nice smile. Many girls have told me I'm cute, some say I'm pretty, and others say I'm hot. BUT, I'm shy and not very talkative. A couple girls once told me that when they saw me for the first time, they were kinda scared to talk to me, because I had this serious look on me, or more like an in-expressive face, and they really had no idea what was on my mind or how I was. So, the thing is, they told me that at a moment where i had my.....normal face. That's how my face looks everyday, so I don't know if girls get scared to talk to me, or if that's a problem. But anyway, I don't think it was that much of a problem for us, we have talked. BUT, I think it has definitely affected the amount of conversation, I think we may have talked about more things, or maybe not, I don't know.The thing is, I'm pretty, or cute, or hot, whatever, and girls associate that with boys that talk a lot, or are really funny, or whatever, and it's not that I don't talk, actually I love to talk, its just that I'm not that talkative, and I'm definitely not good at starting conversations. That doesnt mean I'm not funny either, I can be funny sometimes, but I admit it's not my Forte either.So, I have her number, I have a pending friend request for her on FB, and we're gonna be seeing each other in class until january. So I want some advice on how to get a date with her, or how to start a conversation that doesn't involve psychology and to eventually take her out on a date. The thing is, I don't wanna pretend to be someone I'm not, I don't wanna pretend Im really awesome, or really intelligent (although she kinda thinks I am, cuz she got a C on her exam and I got an 88 (B+), that's what she said, without saying it lol).Finally, sorry for the wall of china of text. Please help me!!!
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female
reader, highculture  +, writes (16 October 2010):
 In reply to your question about how to approach her for lunch or coffee, maybe just plan a study session or something? Or simply, after class, ask if she's on break now, and if not, say you're headed to the cafeteria / coffee place, and ask if she's going there as well. Actually, I'd go for that instead of the study session which might seem a bit obvious. To me, there's absolutely nothing weird about asking someone if they want to spend a short lunch break with you; in fact, I often go to lunch with people in my classes that I don't know that well. We mostly still talk about the classes we have together, and school, but just by asking someone about their weekend or what they plan to do later on in their lives, you can get to know them a little better.
I Hope this helped.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you! But how exactly should I approach her about going for lunch or coffee? Like what should I say so as not to sound like some despwrate guy, or weird, or psycho? Cuz... I dont know anything about her, so inviting her for lunch might look weird. How do i get to know her better? Which questions should i make, again, so as not to llok like a stalker or a psycho!?
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A
female
reader, highculture +, writes (16 October 2010):
I actually enjoyed the "wall of China text," nice slice of life ;)
But back to your question, here's my two cents: I wouldn't ask her out on a real date right away. Instead, just start by going for lunch / coffee after your psychology class, in an informal, friendly way. That way, you can maybe move the conversation away from school, see if you actually have things in common, and if she's really interested in you as more than a class partner.
If at that point, you're sure that she likes you, and that you like her, then definitely ask her out! And don't worry about not being talkative, or whatever; like you said, it wouldn't be any good pretending you're something you're not anyways. And, speaking for myself, I actually prefer guys that don't love to hear themselves talk all the time. To me it just shows that a) they actually think before they speak b) they're not just interested in themselves, but they're willing to listen too others too sometimes.
Best of luck! (and congrats on your 88%)
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