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female
,
anonymous
writes: My problem is that I have feelings for my male housemate and best friend, T (although he doesn't know it). We get on so well, but I know he is not attracted to me in that way. Anyway he has just asked out my female best friend who he barely knows, J. J is not sure whether to take him up on the offer or not as she has just split up with her boyfriend. She has no idea about the way I feel about T. I am really angry and upset, firstly because T never told me he was going to ask J out, and secondly because if this turns into a relationship between them I feel like I will have lost my two best friends as I really couldn't bear to see them together. Help, this is making me really miserable!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (14 May 2006):
 My best friend was in a similar situation to you regarding her male flat mate a few years ago - I can understand it is painful for you but you just have to take a back seat and try to distance yourself from your friends until you feel a bit better about the whole thing. You cannot stop them getting together, and if not this girl it sounds like it will only be a short time before another one comes along. So you just have to distract yourself with other friends and hobbies etc - if they know you are jealous then it would make them feel bad about their relationship and that would be a difficult situation for all of you. So you just have to take a deep breath, be brave and weather the storm.
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