A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I'm really depressed and disillusioned with life at the moment. I couldn't give two hoots about the credit crunch, I'm too busy licking my emotional wounds after my latest rejection. I basically developed feelings for a woman at work over a period of years and finally spilt the beans to her. She hasn't spoken to me since - and this is a good few months ago now. My plans to leave the company are now progressing well - I need a fresh start (I can overcome most work related issues but not this kind of angst). My question is really, do I have a right to develop feelings towards someone who I've not actually been on a date with? I know all about unrequited love of course. Does this build up of feelings demonstrate a lack of maturity on my part? Does the fact that this lady is married make me a bad person? There are plenty of younger and more available females (i.e. single) in the office but this woman just seems to have an emotional effect on me. If my head ruled my heart I would certainly not have chosen to develop feelings towards her of course - but that unfortunately is what has happened.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hello kitty 101  +, writes (26 September 2008):
 yes it is ok to have feelings for some one you have never dated its human nature 2 have feelings for anyone she may not speak to you any more because she may have feelings for you but cant let you know cause she is a married women but you do need to go to and sit down and tell her that you did not mean to upset and it you just felt like it was something you needed to get of your chest and tell her you hope you can still be friends and that youe sorry for upsetting her i hope it works out for you
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): I may not be of much help... I actually stumbled across this post because I have a similar problem... maybe not as complicated though (she's not yet married.. rather, a long term relationship; nor do I work with her).
Perhaps this shows emotional immaturity, as you suggest, by both of us. However, I think you would have regretted it more if you had not expressed your feelings towards this woman. As the saying goes: "'tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all".
Having said that, I think the best way to show maturity is to accept the answer as a 'no' and move on. Good luck.
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