A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I really like this guy at university. Im not sure if he likes me too though. We have some real chemistry, or at least i think we do. He makes an effort to see me and is very flirty and suggestive. I've even witnessed him get quite jealous about other men on a few occasions. One of my friends told him I liked him and he went really flirty and touchy feely which is unusual for him. But then the next day he was normal as if none of that had ever happened. Then the next day I told him that I liked him and he just brushed it off jokingly saying, 'all the girls fall for me eventually'. I was quite upset, though I didnt let him know this. I wanted him to tell me how he feels. If he liked me back this would have been the ideal opportunity for him to say it too. Also if I make an innocent suggestion to go a walk around the shops together or something he says that he cant and makes some ridiculous excuses, but if we are with other people hes the one making sure I come out as often as possible. This guy is really confusing me. I have some deep feelings for him, but I cant help but think hes not sure about me. I know I should just come straight out and ask him, but if he said no I would be really hurt and extremely embarrased. I know I cant wait forever for him to make up his mind but part of me is holding back from finding someone else because I think that we could be great together, if we ever were together. Im really confused, please help!
View related questions:
flirt, jealous, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (7 January 2007):
There could be many reasons why this guy seems to like you but hasn't made a move for you. Maybe he is shy or insecure. Maybe he is immature. Maybe he is afraid to face his feelings. Maybe he is scared to be in love, or the prospect of rejection and loss if it doesn't work out. Maybe he just doesn't like you. Maybe he likes the chase, but once you have fallen for him, he loses interest. Maybe he likes you, but only as a friend. Maybe he is affraid to committ to anything or anyone. Fortunately for you, none of these are your problems, they are his problem. You have the advantage, because you know how you feel.
Your problem is fear. Fear of rejection, loss, embarrassment. Here are the antidotes to these negative emotions: self confidence, self respect, self belief, and an understanding of the true nature of love. To love someone is a great thing, and should have nothing to do with whether they love you back. I know that is sometimes hard to accept, because we so deisre the other person to love us as well. Love is the true nature of things, but sometimes people cannot see it and are unable to give us the love we can give them. We have to forgive them for this, but it should not change our love, because that is the true nature of love, this is conditional love.
The truth is that you are fine, and it is great that you love someone, and you have done the right thing in letting them know you like him. But you know that is not enough. You said you "know you should just come straight out and ask him", and this is probably true, but you are afraid of the rejection. Believe in yourself. That does not mean that he will tell you he loves you too, but do not be embarressed to say it, because it is true. Be confident, and tell him how you feel, because that is the truth. If he feels the same, great, if not, I am sorry, and you are allowed to feel hurt and to cry, but even better if you can accept his lack of love as his loss, and stand tall knowing you did the right thing. It is nothing to be embarrased about. It is a truely great experience, to open your heart and be yourself. You may not get what you want but in the long run, you will never regret it.
Good luck.
|
