A
male
age
30-35,
*ouieA
writes:Hello. Im a seventeen year old male who lives in Aus. i have been in a relationship for about 4 and half months now. At the start we were fine we had arguements from now and then by the 3rd month they started to get hefty. Lately my girlfriend has been having little goes at me arguing yelling all that nonsense. She manages to go to parties without me and call of anything that I or even her have arranged to do together. Since we work together me and her have alot of workmates around the place, when i make a new friend she also has to make her or him her friend, then competes with it too. She is a bit of a tomboy and she has alot of friends that are boys, this is something im not greatly comfortable of although two of them are gay. She is in her last year of school and is going to Uni next year, recently she has had thoughts of staying here in the same town as me (im in my second last year of school) i would love for her to stay but it seems like other things are getting in the way and as my hopes get up... they manage to get bombarded with stuff like 'dad doesnt want me to stay' , 'staying here is the last thing i want to do'. She tells me that she loves me and constantly says that theres nothing to be afraid of, but seriously when one is this paranoid and jelous what can one do? I've been having thoughts of dropping her but it would be hard for me too let go, even though she hurts me i still can't get over her. who can help me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2007): Don't rush into breaking up with her - I understand that right now she is causing you pain by acting hot and then cold all the time, but it is obvious from your answer that you love her and breaking up would be hard for you. It seems that she is genuinely confused herself about whether to go to uni or to stay here. She is going to Uni next year (possibly) and when she makes her decision, you will not be able to influence this. Therefore, you should give yourself some time to think about the relationship over the next two months and try not to argue over her leaving. It might be a good idea to set yourself a timescale - perhaps decide that on the 1st of November say, you will decide whether the relationship is working and break up if necessary. it might sound odd but it works for me! If I'm honest, I don't think she is showing you much respect by cancelling planned nights out and going to parties without you - this isn't the act of someone in love. So think carefully about the future - best of luck with everything. There doesn't seem to be a conclusive answer to this one, rather that you will just 'know' when the time is right to finish things, but there really is no great rush - the last thing you want to do is end things then regret doing that later on and have to ask her back out!
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