A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, this is kind of long I hope you don't mind.I was with my boyfriend for 3 years and I've just split up with him.I've been having a really hard time recently with a lot of thoughts going through my head so I took a break from him for a week so I could sort it out thinking I could rely on him for support, he said he was fine with it until the day after... he sent me argumentative text messages, this went on throughout the week, everyday. Now this automatically made me think why is he being so selfish? because he knew the problems I was going through and was adding to it by sending me these text messages (he had his own 3 MONTH break previously because we argued a lot and still do and I had never taken a break before) in those 3 months we were split up and I gave him his peace and waited for him but he said to me if I took longer than a week he just wanted to be friends.The week gave me time to think and I thought I could really rely on him to support me through my hard time but he didn'tSo i broke it off.Now I think I've made a mistake, when we broke up previously I missed him like crazy and actually lost a lot of weight through not eating for a month.I thought it wouldnt be so hard when I had all these angry thoughts going through my head until he sent me a long text quoting things about the good times we had which made me burst into tears.Am I doing the right thing for us both?Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008): have a week out see how u feel then i split with my partner 3 months ago i have good days and bad days still miss him.but in my heart i new it was the right thing 2 do and u will no when the time is right what is the best thing 4 u
A
male
reader, Shah88X  +, writes (13 October 2008):
Thinking about the past brings back memories, and moments of desperation where you would do...
Unthinkable things.
From my experience, if there's something I want to share with you, it's to learn to be selfish for yourself at times.
Being selfless for me, has given me far too many negative things, and I certainly, do not want you to go through the same pains as I did.
The moment you asked: Did I do the right thing for us?
It gave me the impression that you are still worried about him. Get a grip; the one facing the problem is YOU, not him.
Let me ask you this, and please be precise.
You DO need the time to be alone right?
If you do; you did the right thing.
If you didn't.. Need I say more? But still it's your choice.
Here's the big surprise:
He feels it too. He misses you.
That's why he's doing that, the messaging "good ol' days" thing. The drawback is, if you both eventually get back together, will you be able to iron out and stamp out such incidents like this?
Will the both of you be willing to give each other space to breath on your own?
I have a funny feeling that you'd give in to him, but remember, you also need to be selfish at times.
For yourself.
And if he is truly a gentleman, he will wait for you, instead of pounding on your emotions and trying too hard to bring everything back.
Be strong, tougher times may come up ahead.
...............................
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