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female
,
anonymous
writes: I've been seeing my boyfriend on and off for about 3 years. Recently I have become obsessed that he is seeng someone else and doubt and question everything he says. I dont no why I feel like this, because he loves me dearly. I have asked him if he is seeing someone and he insists he's not. I'm afraid I can't get over this to move on. I feel that it has something to do with the past, where I've been hurt before. I just hope it doesn't destroy our relationship. Sometimes I feel like a stalker, paranoid and obsessed and it's really not good. What can I do?
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (13 June 2006):
 Have you been cheated on before ? This may explain why you have doubts,.. You have insecurities for a reason, has he cheated on someone in the past, you need to identify what the insecurity is. Are you a jealous person ? Have you been like this with anybody else before ? You may need to talk this through with someone, as it may not just go away on its own. Once you have addressed why it is you feel like this you will begin to deal with it, but if you carry on and do nothing you could quite possibly lose him over nothing, nobody likes to be accused of something they havent done, especially if hes totally innocent and you have no cause to worry about it... try and get to talk to a counsellor and see if they can help you to address this issue and take it a step at a time.
Take care
x
A
female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (12 June 2006):
 dear reader my best advice for you would be to speak to someone i'm not saying your the problem here but if you just air out your problems with soemone you don't know you could find the bottom of this, as long as you belive him when he says his not cheated i think you could benefit from it or better still you could both see a relationship counsellor
i hope all works out fine
all the best xxx
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A
female
reader, camille +, writes (12 June 2006):
 I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. What's interesting is that you say that you don't know why but think it's to do with the past, except that it's a recent thing. Did your past experience happen after about 3 years? If not, I'm wondering how it's connected and why it's only surfaced now. Try and pinpoint when exactly this started and see if there was an incident that may have triggered it. If you are concerned with negative feelings from your past, try and get to talk to someone (counsellor) and see if you can work through those problems. I hope it doesn't ruin your relationship too, but if it is connected to the past, it's best to deal with it now as it will keep rearing its ugly head. Be honest with your boyfriend and ask if he can be supportive whilst you hopefully sort the issue out. Best of luck.
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