A
female
age
51-59,
*pecial k
writes:Hi EveryoneCan you help me please? I have a wonderful husband we will be married 4 years this May. But the problem is me. I have no confidence in myself. I have an eating problem and really hate myself. I feel fat and unattractive. Even though I am 7 stone 12 and my husband thinks I am beautiful. I cannot relax when we make love, at times I want the light off or my top left on, as I hate the way I look. What can I do to relax and enjoy making love to my wonderful husband? And what can I do to put the spark back into our relationship? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2007): Hi, I don't know how much you weigh as I am unfamiliar with the stone measurement being from the US!
However, I can relate to your body confidence issues..and emotional eating.
One thing you can do to stop the emotional eating is to keep a journal, and when ever you feel the need to comfort yourself with food, instead write down all of your thoughts and feelings in your journal and don't censor yourself, get it all out, and then you won't want to eat to feel better.
Also, if you make yourself wait when you get the urge to snack on something, don't give into it right then, the feelings will pass in about 10 minutes and then just go on with the day.
What you can do to feel better about your body is to start excercising and counting calories, get a personal trainer if you can afford one to help you design a program and hold you accountable....and then pay attention to your body, dance around naked in front of a mirror and begin to appreciate the beauty that is in you, your nice hair, your great skin, your eyes, your smile, your pretty hands and feet...because I am sure you are lovely and your husband thinks so too....in time as you become more comfortable in your own skin, your sex life will improve, confidence is important in the bedroom, so throw off that top and turn the light on low and go for it, you just need some momentum in that direction to get things going again.
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (21 January 2007):
 I think this is an issue between you, and only you. You have a husband of four years that loves you very much, and thinks you are beautiful.
You are 7 stone 12, which is no weight atal, alot of women would give their right arm to be this size.
You are by no means fat, and probably by no means unatractive, but i am abit concerned that you keep telling yourself you are fat, this is the classic signs of annorexia. Why not just pop along to your local GP and get checked out.
If not then you have got to work on building your confidence and self esteem up. try a Paul Mckenna hypnosis CD for motivation and confidence, they are really relaxing and after you feel really good about yourself.
Say positive things about yourself instead of focusing on the negative things, and believe your Husband when he tells you that you are beautiful.
Good luck x
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