A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I could use advice my sister is driving me nutts, she leaves and 12am in the morning and goes to who knows where shes brought a guy home at 2Am when i asked her whats with this guy she told him not to worry about me im just her brother. shes doing bad in school doesnt go have the time and is failing her grade again. shes mean to her younger siblings and is physically abusive.My mother is terminally ill with cancer she was in remition for four years but its come back she doesnt have the strenght to deal with my sister who just runs wild.my aunt would come by but my sisters antics drove her away she still checks up on my mom but doesnt stay long or come as often.baby brother and sister there good kids my younger brother hes 10 and very helpful really looks after my mom makes sure she keeps up with her meds because she will get lazy and not take some then shes worst and ends up in the hospital. my sister is 7 she playful and a good girl but my other sisters bad ways and attitude are rubbing off on her.father left some years ago he would come by still even after my parents seperated thats how the last two where conceived he has another wife and family 15 hours away dont see him mutch he has a son i never met.Me i was in the millitary i got discharged after serving nearly two years in iraq and getting injured i was shot twice in the hip and leg and am on dissability. i left home at 15 things werent working out basically i liked making money and my mother didnt agree with my means i got in with a bad croud but after being arrested and sent to JUV i got a diploma and joined the milliary served for eight years.when my mother got sick this last time i decided to move back home and help out. things where terrible my sister is so used to having her own way and doing what she wants my barely has any strenght some days especially when she was on chemo, my sister is rude and disrepectful. Shes 14 years old and acts like she knows everything shes even having sex with guys that are probably older then me and theese guys seem to be giving her money for it becuse she has alot of expensive stuff pursed and music players shoes clothes etc.I didnt come home and expect to change anything ive been gone nearly ten years but i didnt expect it to be like this, a year has gone by and im fed up i buy the food and pay most of the bills my mothers disability covers some things i got a job doing private security where i was injured during a robery stbbed several times so im at home now all the time on dissability but started going to School.so now that im home i see how things are my little sisters she 7 came to me crying one day she had a bruise on her face she said her sister hit her she i got her some ice she was crying so mutch her shirt was soaked i changed her shirt when i took it off she had bruises all over i asked her how she got them she said she didnt remember but i kno where she got them.I told my mother about that and my mother told to my sister ill call her Tanya so i talked to her and i said i need to take Beth(little sister) to the hospital she has bruises all over, we got into a big arguement basically all she said was Beth is annoying and diserved it.I told her that didnt make any sense shes a little girl i told her not to touch her again all she says is what am i gonna do about it.I couldnt take beth to the hospital becuse im not her legal guardian and my mother doesnt want social services coming around i think she should get checked though. im not sure what to tell the doctors.The school issue Tany barely goes to school im not her legal gaurdian so i cant get mutch information from the school but the school unoficially told me that she rarely comes and is failing.my mother has some machines that she uses and has very little energy she cant run around doing alot,I can care for the other kids there not a problem but Tanya is driving me nutts i called my dad and told him to come get her becuse shes gonna piss me off and im gonna end up hurting her and then ill be in jail and where will the other kids be. my dad has a million excuse shes just a kid he said hell send some money to help out he just doesnt get it i just want my sister gone.He told me to handle it cuse hes got somethings he has to deal with blah blah blah.drugs and alcohol she smokes and drinks she will come in late and smoking. she was going somewhere at 11pm i told her if she goes dont come back she left and after a day i told my mom she left and my mom said i have to call the police. and say she ran away so i did. they picked her up a week later for drug possesion and running away i called my dad and told him to come get her cuse im not and i cant has to be a legal parent and my mom was back in the hospital in paid from the stress maybe and she can only be moved in an ambulance anyway. dad drove 15 hours got her out brougth her to the house he said he would take her with him he told her to pack her stuff and he was gonna rest i talked to him about custody of the other two becuse it would make things easier we decieded i would take custody of the others he brought his son i finnaly met my other brother 9yrs old. the three younger kids made freinds quick .I told my sister just take a few changes of clothes ill mail her the rest That night i heard a huge explosion sounded like it i went out side and my dads car was piled up into my neghbors truck a hit and run pretty common around here.The car wasnt totaled mostly cosmectic but un driveable, my dad decided to get it fixed for about $1500 but it took a week he have flew back for $900 but my sister couldnt take mutch stuff plus he wouldnt have a car back home.Yesterday while my sister was still supposed to be packing i checked in on her she was just sitting in the corner i asked her if she needed help, she was crying and she said she didnt want to go i told her its to late its in her best intrest she just wants to stay here to be with her freinds, she said she didnt have any friends so i asked her where does she go all the time she asked me where do i think i told her thats why shes leaving cuse shes disrepectful and doesnt care about anything.she was crying now and start throwing some stuff saying she didnt care about it and saying that atleast the people she gets the stuff from dont leave there always there blah blah she said i left and dad left and moms leaving. she said i shouldnt be on her case becuse i did worst then her i didnt go to school and all that stuff i told her i regretted it its not fun walking around with bullets holes in you and i said she had a chance to do better then me and shouldnt use my screw ups as an excuse.So now she starts telling me not to make her leave she will change and be better blah blah, I asked her why she wanted to stay she said becuse she didnt want mom and the kids to remember her like this and she wanted to be here for mom when she does pass.She sais i should gve her a second chance she really begged. she seemed sincere but i dont trust her. I have about a week to decide should i send her away or give her another chance. thanks for reading this sorry for the lenght but wanted to contrast the way shes been acting to this last bit so i can get some objective opions
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2009): umm sweetheart send her packing... she keeps this up your mom is going to pass away sooner... your sister is going to end up dead pregnant or with a disease & not in that order . your mom is not going to think any less of her for leaving. mothers always want what is best for their children.i commend you for being a man and taking care of your mom and fam. but your sister is puttinng a heavier burden on you and you familly . shes acting out her pain by behaving in this manner. .. she is hurting too but she is far too young to be living this life style... if you do decide to let her stay you and your fam will ahve to rule with an iron fist. i personally think its too much for one person to handle and her reasons for wanting to stay are just a form of manipulation for her to stay on her estructive path . help her pack and ship her off & make sure she recieves some type of counseling for all that shes dealing with...you will be thankful in the end... and so will your mom... god bless you sweety good luck..
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