A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all!Im a woman, bisexual and have had a crush on a coworker for a few months now. SHe is not lesbian. The other day I told her I wanted her to know that I loved her and cared for her as a friend. After a couple of hours she invited me to have lunch. She wanted to hear more of that 'love' I felt for her. I told her I have had a crush for her for quite some time, that I wanted to let it go but that I still had fantasies and images of us together.She did not say yes or no, she smiled a bit on the table and replied she would not change her approach. She did not say much more, I do not remember her showing discomfort.It is confusing to me, I think she likes me but something is not letting this flow, something in her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhello all!
Thanks a lot for your words.... I really appreciate it.
Now, I did not tell you that I got extremely nervous when I declared my feelings. I remained calm outside, like I did not want her to realize how nervous I was. Then I told her I loved her, all she said was that she knew she felt a special affection towards me, I talked about the repeated images and dreams of us together, the way I believed her to be a very strong woman, meaningful, spiritual, delicate and loving with others, I told her I liked her gestures and manners, her voice. I also said... and I still ask myself why I said smth like that... I said that I did not expect anything from her, that I respected her and hoped she would not feel overwhelmed. I have backed off since I read your messages. Today she came by before leaving and kissed me good bye. Yesterday her shift was over at 4pm, I had to stay longer. I asked her if she would go for a coffee with me downstairs to the cafeteria - that was before I read your answers - she smiled and agreed instantly. Then around 3.30pm she was called for a meeting and came back 4pm, by then she asked if we better left coffee time for another day because another coworker - whom I know - offered to drop her off at her place. I hated myself for wanting to take her time after work.
I really do not understand why is it so difficult for two people to agree on smth so simple, share some time together, have fun, make love and love, give and take. I slightly feel she likes me and I do not have to tell you how much I like her.
Now, let me tell you a bit more about us, Im cuban, SHE is Costa Rican. We live in San Jose and work at a big company as customer service agents. Im not a tomboy lesbian or anything like that, actually I can be honest and say Im a nice, pretty 31 year old woman, a woman who may like women, men, nature... I do not consider myself a lesbian, I simply have a preference for women who tend to be very communicative and caring, delicate. I tried to be honest with her, I have a relationship now, of about 8 years. Things are not going on well, she does not seem to commit herself to our relation and our goals and Im in the middle of stagnant water. I feel it is time to move on, anyway there are priorities and I would not like to take any further steps until I reach them. But if I had the luck and charm of being able to date this woman and start a realtionship with her, it would be a bliss and I would definitively not step back.
Im very strong and passionate, and if you consider i should back off I would do it. My self esteem is high and even though there is not a refusal, there has not been a spontaneous show of interest, like when things evolve without much effort.
What else could I tell you? Well, she is rather tall, slender, big brown eyes, she has a very honest and innocent smile, i love to see her smile. She is the best performer at work, great skills and completely devoted to her tasks. She is a bit shy, and I could learn she is still recovering from a break up with her ex. The other day, before I told her about my feelings, she found the way to let me know she was adopted... as if I would care. That simply makes me love her more, actually I did not know why she would bring up the theme out of nowhere.
Guys... I do not want to bore you with my story, I will nottake your words for granted. All of them are words of wisdom and i appreciate your time. Thanks.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhello all!
Thanks a lot for your words.... I really appreciate it.
Now, I did not tell you that I got extremely nervous when I declared my feelings. I remained calm outside, like I did not want her to realize how nervous I was. Then I told her I loved her, all she said was that she knew she felt a special affection towards me, I talked about the repeated images and dreams of us together, the way I believed her to be a very strong woman, meaningful, spiritual, delicate and loving with others, I told her I liked her gestures and manners, her voice. I also said... and I still ask myself why I said smth like that... I said that I did not expect anything from her, that I respected her and hoped she would not feel overwhelmed. I have backed off since I read your messages. Today she came by before leaving and kissed me good bye. Yesterday her shift was over at 4pm, I had to stay longer. I asked her if she would go for a coffee with me downstairs to the cafeteria - that was before I read your answers - she smiled and agreed instantly. Then around 3.30pm she was called for a meeting and came back 4pm, by then she asked if we better left coffee time for another day because another coworker - whom I know - offered to drop her off at her place. I hated myself for wanting to take her time after work.
I really do not understand why is it so difficult for two people to agree on smth so simple, share some time together, have fun, make love and love, give and take. I slightly feel she likes me and I do not have to tell you how much I like her.
Now, let me tell you a bit more about us, Im cuban, SHE is Costa Rican. We live in San Jose and work at a big company as customer service agents. Im not a tomboy lesbian or anything like that, actually I can be honest and say Im a nice, pretty 31 year old woman, a woman who may like women, men, nature... I do not consider myself a lesbian, I simply have a preference for women who tend to be very communicative and caring, delicate. I tried to be honest with her, I have a relationship now, of about 8 years. Things are not going on well, she does not seem to commit herself to our relation and our goals and Im in the middle of stagnant water. I feel it is time to move on, anyway there are priorities and I would not like to take any further steps until I reach them. But if I had the luck and charm of being able to date this woman and start a realtionship with her, it would be a bliss and I would definitively not step back.
Im very strong and passionate, and if you consider i should back off I would do it. My self esteem is high and even though there is not a refusal, there has not been a spontaneous show of interest, like when things evolve without much effort.
What else could I tell you? Well, she is rather tall, slender, big brown eyes, she has a very honest and innocent smile, i love to see her smile. She is the best performer at work, great skills and completely devoted to her tasks. She is a bit shy, and I could learn she is still recovering from a break up with her ex. The other day, before I told her about my feelings, she found the way to let me know she was adopted... as if I would care. That simply makes me love her more, actually I did not know why she would bring up the theme out of nowhere.
Guys... I do not want to bore you with my story, I will nottake your words for granted. All of them are words of wisdom and i appreciate your time. Thanks.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhello all!
Thanks a lot for your words.... I really appreciate it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): Either she's uncomfortable, or maybe she doesn't know what you WANT. Ask her if she's okay with how you feel about her. Just come out and ask her. Wouldn't you want the same for yourself?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): It sounds as if your friend is relishing the attention she's getting from you, enjoying being wanted and lusted over, in spite of her not being the same as yourself. I would guess that this is leading nowhere but frustration for you, I can't see her reciprocating your feelings. Just back off completely and see if there is a positive response from her as a result. Then you will have your answer, one way or another. Good luck.
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