A
male
age
36-40,
*irman.gs
writes:Hi, I have a friend. She is in the kind of relationship where guys treat their girls like trash and girls still wish to continue with them. She always comes to me asking for help and sometimes just tells me things like "he doesn't call me/pick my calls, he kept me waiting for hours on the train station and did not even show up, he hit me last night because I went to hang out with my friends" and all that crap.This guy emotionally abuses and her, gets angry if he finds that she has been talking to any of her friends in person or even over the phone (his logic is that if she has him, she shouldn't need any friends), he gets angry if she hangs out with her friends and so on. This guy has no proper job and is 8 years older the her. He even asks the girl not to tell her parents about him. I have asked her why she is still in such a relationship and guess what...she says she is in "true love" and that "he loves me as well...I know he cares a lot."I have tried a lot to wake her up but its all a waste of time. Now she skips her classes, her office and lies to her parents just to meet him whenever he expresses his wish. I know that he is just using her and I have told this girl about it. Her reply was "I understand it very well...but I just can't help it".Now I am thinking about not talking to her anymore because she seems to have nothing else to talk about anymore and at-least to me, such things are really hard to fathom. Her talks leave me disgusted....how can a human being lack self-respect upto such an extent?! What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (4 March 2010):
 I know you feel fed-up and have probably lost all patience with her. She thinks she is in love with this guy and he only treats her like cr*p because he cares about her. Her self-esteem is rock bottom right now. She cannot leave him because she is scared of being on her own and believes no-one else will ever love her. Until she realises she is worth more, she will continue with this destructive relationship.So what do you do? I suggest you try to make yourself less available to her. You have your own life to lead. But one day I think she will come to her senses and when she does, she will need a friend. She will need you. Will you be there for her when this happens? Good luck, I hope she 'wakes up' to this loser soon!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): i have been in your shoes and i finally just distanced myself to a degree. i didnt just leave her but i bacame unavailable to a large extent. it was driving me crazy and leaving me depressed all the time. just keep some communication because eventually she will be left and will need someone to help her pick up the pieces. sigh mal
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