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female
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anonymous
writes: i have recently gotten a divorce from a man who i have been with for 6 years. i love him with all my heart and still love him. his work became more important than me and his parents out ranked me. after 2 years of marriage i left. i couldnt come 3rd anymore. now i am dating another man who is sweet but hasnt grown up yet. i dont think he really knows what he wants and hes alittle over jelous. weve been dating for 6 months now. so after 3 months of not talking to my x, he calls me and weve been talking as friends. so now im faced with the question. though i am dating another man im still much in love with my x and cant stop myself from thinking about him. i talked to my x and told him what he would have to change inorder for us to get back together and he said he could do that. ( like standing up to his parents)and hes even started to prove it. but i dont want to leave my boyfriend for my x for it to all fall apart again and me end up alone. i dont want to hurt anyone but most of all i dont want to be hurt. what should i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (29 September 2006):
 Noone can make a choice like this for you as we aren't feeling the feelings you are.
Whatever guy you choose if it goes wrong you will think that you made the wrong choice and the other one was the one you should have picked but you just don't know what will happen in the future and to be honest neither one of them might be the right one and the right one for you might still be out there for you.
I would say follow your heart but that is loving them both in their own ways, what is your gut instint telling you?
Try taking time out from both of them and being on your own to work through your head, maybe when your away from them both you'll realise which one you actually miss and which one you can't live without.
Good luck, hope this helps :o)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok so this weekend i went off with my ex. just to talk and that is all that happened. we just talked for hours. my boyfriend does know whats going on. we stayed up all night talking (me and my boyfriend). and my boyfriend is a really great guy, hes very sweet and loving, and he pays attention to me which is something i need. and i dont want to lose that. but hes got issues he needs to work through in order for us to be happy together to. i kinda feel like i havent given him a fair shot. and then theres my ex. hes also a great guy and has issues he has to work through. and i know that niether of them are going to be perfect and that im going to have to work at ither one to make them work. but the thing that i most worried about with my ex is that he works night shift, so im not going to get to see him as much as i would like and im going to be home by myself at night. i keep telling myself that as long as he makes time for me at least 2 hours or so during everyday that ill be ok. if its waking up with me in the morning and spending an hour with me before i go to work and coming and eating lunch with me. but im really not sure that, that is going to be enought. i feel so lost. i cant do anything but cry. there both great guys and i love them both. and i dont want to make the wrong decision about this. i just dont know what to do.
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (22 September 2006):
If you stay with your boyfriend you are being unfair on him and stopping him from being with someone that can love him and make him truely happy as you can't all the time you are still in love with your ex, you are also being untrue to yourself and your own feelings even if getting back with your ex isn't what you choose to do or you do and it doesn't work out you boyfriend is obviously not who you want to be with and you don't sound like you don't see a future with him.
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A
female
reader, SassySarah +, writes (22 September 2006):
What do you want ?
Its not fare to string your boyf along. the longer you leave it the more its gonna hurt him.
If you really thought ur ex will change then i think you would have bee there like a shot.
But hay thats wot i think.
Pull ur socks up u only live once so do whats gonna make you happy not whats easiest.
take care
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