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female
age
30-35,
*ena
writes: i have a boyfriend and i search porn on the internet.does this meen i'm cheating? i'm very ashamed of this but it makes me feel better, i've only been doing this since i found out he had been flirting with other girls and kissing them. everytime i get a phone call he says who is that and if it is a lad i tell him and he gets mardy, he tries playing mind games with me and tries to make me jelous he also goes out with his mates and comes to mine at about 9 at night when he gets bored. he sleeps at my mums house nearly every weekend when i live at my nans. when we are together though he makes me feel special and sends me really nice messages like i love you sooo much i want to be with you forever etc... do you think he is any good as a boyfriend? what can i do to stop searching porn? i'm sure i'm addicted to it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2006): It also sound like there are abusive traits in your relationship.
That you both are struggling with how to be in a serious relationship.
We usually, weither we admit it or not or are even are aware of it, tend to re-inact out what we have witness as a child.
It sounds like the both of you are caught up in this unloving, untrusting, uncaring dynamic which only spells disaster.
GET OUT and FAST.
Also, please seek individual counselling to deal with any trauma, neglect, violence, abandonment, verbal, mental, physical, sexual abuse from childhood.
And I am just covering ground in the statement above.
Heal and strengthen your mind, body and soul and you will then be better equipped to find someone to be loved by in a righteous and supporting way and you will be better able to do this as well.
*hugs*
Happy New Years.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2006): Oops, to finish my paragraph...
Also, I doubt you're actually addicted to it. The porn you're using is basically a psychological getaway or 'balance' to fill in the void that is missing with your 'boyfriend'. You will most likely not be using it if your relationship with your boyfriend completed you. In other words, if the relationship was fulfilling and makes you feel like a billion dollars. 8]
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2006): The porn thing is between you and him. Why don't you ask him what he thinks about it? Aside from that, he seems like a bad egg - kissing others girls while you two are together seems like a good enough sign you should leave his ass. I mean, mind games, trying to make you jealous, flirting and kissing other girls, etc. [sigh] This reminds me of my female friend who called me yesterday, balling her eyes out because some guy she fell in love with 'cares' about her, but has everything else that make the devil herself look angelic.
Also, I doubt you're actually addicted to it. The porn you're using is basically a psychological getaway or 'balance' to fill in the void that is missing with your 'boyfriend'.
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