A
female
age
30-35,
*leasanthawaii
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now. We have made it through long distance and everything. He is back for the summer and has to leave soon to go back to school. We all went to school together i'm 2 years younger than them. All of his friends are in a community college taking 2 classes a semester going no where. They smoke pot and drink all the time. They are all single so they like to do everything that a single guy does. Smoke. Drink. Go out late at night to go see girls. My boyfriend knows that he shouldn't do that and he chooses not to do any of that. But he just wants to hang out with them so he gets roped into being designated driver. They use all his gas and dont give him gas money they all owe him so much. I have to give him money. All of his friends aren't going anywhere in life. All they want to do is sit around play videogames and computer games and get high and drunk. They ditch him all the time. Don't call him to hang out. He has to call and even when he does they won't answer. My boyfriend is in a terrible position because he just wants his friends and i'm the only one that can see that they just use him. He gets so emotional because he just wants his guys back. They never used to be like this before he left. They start to use me as an excuse now. My boyfriend will ask why didn't you call and they'll say "because your with her". We'll be going somewhere and i have to be home at a certain time and they won't want to go because "we can't promise that we'll get her home on time".I used to like his friends a lot. We were all really close. Now everything is all messed up and my boyfriend sometimes blames it on me. I can't help to feel like it is my fault because he's spending time with me a lot. But he chooses that. He chooses to spend time with me over them. Then he blames me why his friends don't want to hang out. Even when he is with his friends he won't want to text me or see me or anything to do with me.Why does he continue to choose them over me. They talk mean about me to him and he defends them. They talk mean about him behind his back and he defends them. I stayed with him everyday when he was away missing home. i helped him with his school work. When he was arguing with family i was there for him.i even helped his family when he was away. Not his friends. I just want him to see how they really are. How they use him. And to stop blaming me. To stop using me as a scapegoat. To enjoy the short time we have together.Any advice
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 August 2010):
 Bros before hoes..(I'm not calling you a hoe) Unfortunately, his bros are manipulative losers going nowhere fast. Be glad that your boyfriend hasn't fallen for these antics it's really easy at the age, this shows he is mature with values. Why your boyfriend is still hanging onto these friends is because they weren't like this before so he thinks they're just going through a phase. For a few of them it might be, but for the others some never grow out of it. Along the way, he's making himself look like a fool and the more they brainwash him into thinking it's because of you the more he's going to believe it. Sit him down for a serious talk, point out that they are using drugs, getting drunk and one night that he's their DD they're liable to get caught then everyone goes to jail, that it's not your fault they don't call him, they only use them to be their chauffeur, you've been there with through the good/bad times, and he chooses to spend time with you because they're always dumping on him. Now hopefully he'll realize how crappy of friends they are, but he's going to have to do it on his own.
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