A
female
age
30-35,
*ritish_girl
writes:Please, I could really use some help. I am so in love, infatuated, or whatever you want to call it, with one of my teachers, and now i can't sleep because of it. I'm so tired all the time, but I lie awake for hours trying not to think of him, yet desperately wanting to, so that my dreams will be filled with him, it's like a mental battle. It's so awful, because he set me (and only me, because I'm now failing his subject because of how I feel for him) a load of work to help me catch up on the topic. But I'm really struggling with it, and now each time I so much as look at the textbooks and sheets on my desk, my heart palpitates and I just imagine him telling me on Monday, when I next see him, that I've gotten it all wrong, and him thinking how incredibly stupid I am. I'm so worried about it all.Please can someone give me advice on how to put this all to the back of my mind and help me sleep?? I hate feeling this way, I hate how much this man affects me, but I just can't seem to forget about him and move on, so what can I do?Is this a sign of depression?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): hey i'm the anonymous person hu posted you advice on the 30th may and i came back to see if u had posted ne updates and you had! i'm sooooo glad that the work went okay and i hope everything else works out for you! xxxxx
A
female
reader, british_girl +, writes (3 June 2008):
british_girl is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey everyone, thankyou so much! All of your answers were really helpful, especially the annonymous answer below, i really appreciate it!
Anyway just to update you on the situation, i did finsh the work he'd set me okay, and i gave it to him in my lesson yesterday, where he said he'd mark it for next lesson. I just could NOT sleep at all the night before though, i only got about four hours of it because i was so nervous, but everything went fine :)
THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): first of all please don't worry! this isn't a sign of depression. as you can probably tell from logging on to this website LOADS of people (including me!) are in love with their teachers. i understand how you feel, i HATE how much i like my teacher. he makes me loose the ability actually make sense, my heart stops, my legs turn to jelly.......and i hate him for it! however maybe my experience will mean i can give you some advice that you might find helpful!First of all talk to people! He is clearly playing on your mind and it is having serious consquences so let it out! It took me months to pluck up the courage to talk to someone about my feelings but as soon as i did i felt SOOOO much better and discovered that loads of my friends felt the same way. If you don't feel ready to tell someone, you could try keeping a diary. I know that sounds a bit stupid, but i did it before i told anyone and i actually found it surprisingly theraputic. Or you could just talk to people on this website. Loads of people on here probably feel the same way as you and will be happy to share their experiences. Secondly, stop putting yourself down! You are NOT stupid. And i'm sure your teacher doesn't think so either. Try and do as much as you can but explain to your teacher that you find the work difficult and ask if maybe you can get some extra help. He'll probably be pleased that you came to him for help and will be happy to give it to you....it is his job after all! If you think you might find extra help with him a bit....difficult....then maybe ask one of the other teachers who teaches that subject or maybe one of your friends? Just DON'T WORRY. You are not stupid. This is not a sign of depression. The feelings you are experiencing are normal (i know that won't make it any easier but basically you are not alone!)Hope my advice was vaguely helpful. Let me know how it goes.....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): This isnt depression YET! Hope 123 is spot on with the answer, you need to try and separate him from other stuff. Try and get through some of the work that he has set you and leave the rest, explain that you just couldnt do it. I was infatuated in a teacher when i went to school, many years ago, but i can still remember the effect it had on me and my result were crap, and i so wish i could turn the clocks back. I would of tried to put him out of my head. Just think that he is so unobtainable he is wasting your brain space. Think that it cannot work and why are you wasting your precious school years of someone who can never be. Put him right to the back of your mind and do your best at school. Can you not take up a hobby, either alone or as part of a team with friends to get you out and maybe try and get him to fizzle out of your brain? Give it a try cos this is going nowhere and neither will you if you do really bad at school. Take care and look after yourself, plenty of sleep, excerise and good food.
take care
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): I don't think that it's depression, but it could lead to it if it gets any worse for you.
Do you think it would help if you got a tutor for that subject, that way you might not have the choice to concentrate on him while someone else is there trying to explain it to you?
You really need to try and seperate school and him, or it will start to be a huge problem. (Although I know that that's much easier said than done)! Do you think that you would be able to talk to your parents or best friends about it at all (if they don't already know), because trust me, if something is bothering you simply talking to someone about how you are feeling can make a world of differenct and lift a weight off your shoulders.
And if you can do all those things then sleeping shouldn't be too much of a problem anymore :) !
Please let us know how it is going, Good luck!
xx Hope xx
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