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anonymous
writes: I`ve just found out that my boyfriend is married. His wife found his mobile with my name,number and messages. I`m gutted. I cant stop thinking about him and wonder if anything he told me is true. He told me he still loved me and I`m still in love with him. I wish I could hate him. I don't know whether to try and contact him. He has made no contact with me since I found out. His wife says they are trying again for the sake of their baby daughter. I want an apology and some answers. There seems to be no closure on this and I don't feel I can move on until I have answers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2005): Unfortunately, this man is not yours and never was. You can't be in love with, or in despair over a married man. You have no right to seek closure. He is a complete ass. He disrespected both women by lying. I understand that you feel like you still love him, but please realize that you were deceived. Maybe that will help you to move on without the "answers" you're looking for. There's only one answer, and that is "You were conned". But his wife is the greater victime here. She is the one who deserves answers. You need to find your own closure and move on....Fast. This guy says he loves you, but neglected to tell you that he is married with a baby. How can you believe the 'love' part? It's got to be over, for the sake of their marriage, their daughter, and for your self esteem. You deserve fidelity and trust. This loser never gave it to you from the start. Shouldn't that be enough "closure"?????
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2005): If he didn't tell you, then he was either looking for a bit of fun or really liked you and thought if he told you then you wouldn't speak to him. If he has not contacted you, I would leave it for a while. Iif he contacts you, then ask him, but if he doesn't then he's not worth it. If I were you I would go out and have some fun and try to put him to the back of your mind.
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reader, littlegiraffe +, writes (20 April 2005):
I have been on the other side as a wife, and I understand you are hurt too, but you must allow them the space to work at their marriage and, if they decide its over then he will be free to try with you. Being a mistress would be very unfulling, and what about trust? I hate to say this but he seems very capable at lying to both you and his wife and may do so again. You need some space as well, so you can assess your feelings. Time is all it will take and as for answers, the only answers are yes, he's married, yes, he lied to you, and no, I don't believe he loves anyone. You will only hurt yourself if you cannot let him go, for all your sakes.
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