A
female
age
41-50,
*fogalilly
writes:Should I say sorry to my sister, I had an abortion in April and my sister got very angry at me, she is very pro-life and wanted to to weigh my other options. She did not talk to me for a couple of months, and it was really hard not being able to talk to her, and see her kids. I wanted to tell my story to others because I knew that I wasn't the only one out there going through this, so I told my story on a blog. I also own a laptop and when my sister and her family comes to visit they both get on my computer without asking my permission and use it, and somehow she found my posts about my abortion and flipped out, I also changed my password so they could not get into my computer and that is what made her mad.She always brings up the miscarriage that she had, and I feel like she is trying to make it about her, right now she and I aren't talking, she calls and talks to my parents all the time, but I never talk. When they came to visit one weekend she and her husband would barely talk to me. I just feel like she is going to bring this up every time she gets mad at me, and I'm sick of it. Is it time to say sorry?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): You have nothing to apologize for- as other posters have said, your sister is upset about her miscarriage. She's jealous that you were pregnant and she lost her child. She is taking her pain and grief out on you-which is not right. She should be there for you during this time because you need support. Give her time to pout and she'll come back to you when she's ready. She's behaving in an immature way. Keep your head held high and know that the choices you make are your own and as long as you feel good about them, that's all that matters! Hang in there sweetie!
A
female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (4 November 2009):
ffogalilly is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI forgot to mention my sister has two kids, and another on the way.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (4 November 2009):
No, you have nothing that you need to apologize about. I wouldn't be so nice about it if I were you. I'm sure you had your reasons as to why you had an abortion, and those are your reasons and you don't need to apologize for them. I know what it's like and it's not a joyous thing and not something that you're happy about. I'm with askoldersister on this one 100%.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): I agree, no appology, but you could reach out to her and tell her that sisters are tighter than any disagreement, and that you'd like to resort your relationship. If she demands an appology, you have the right to share with her that this was a private and personal decision that you made after long and thoughtful reflection (use your own words here...) and that while you know that she has strong beliefs realtive to this, that she needs to respect your decision.
Neither of you need to appoligise- it would be nice if she could, but I think that having your sister back is more important than winning...
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