A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriends mother has always been like another mother to me. she would always come to me and talk about things in her family that were troubling her. she told me a few weeks ago that she doesn't like when my boyfriend leaves her to look after his daughter when he is busy and she has things to do.me and bf were fighting and on the phone for an hour and a half today just going around in circles so i said look u should be looking after ur daughter, we can talk later. he then got all angry saying she was being taken care of, i told him your mum doesn't like having to take care of her for long periods.he then went to his mum and said "if you dont want to look after her then tell me not my gf"now his mum has made it out i was lying and said to him "who would you believe, her or me?" now i don't even want to go over to his house, but because he has custody of his daughter that is the only place we can be.he gets angry very easy, and i know she would not admit saying it to me because he would get angry which he did.i wish he didn't say anything. what am i meant to do now?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 April 2010):
 Your boyfriend is the bad guy, not you. When you become closer to your boyfriend the child care responsibility would become yours if you are okay with that, otherwise he has to make more money to afford a babysitter. Or only hang out when the baby takes a nap. Never argue about children who are not yours, at least for now. If he were to take care of the baby then you would complain not seeing each other enough. No one wins. Just back off and don't tell your boyfriend what to do. The decision has to come from him. His mom his telling you about this because apparently she has told him she's busy and to no avail, but it's unfair for him to use his mom as a babysitter. Refuse to meet up with him until you know the baby is taken care of by willing people. One day the baby would be part of your life so that would be less juggling around.
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