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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi,I am 12 and in the sixth grade and I was wondering if someone could help me out with this problem I have.You see my boyfriend of 5 months had his friend dump me this past Wednesday, but I just don't understand why. So I thought I would write him this note saying: "I can't even believe I'm writing you this note, but I need to get something straight.........You had your friend dump me for you? That's lame. You could have told me yourself I would of understood. But you did what you had to do,and I'm fine with that. I think we should have just been friends in the first place anyway... (name)"Anyway I have some questions that I would really like you guys to answer...1.Is their something I should add to the note?2.Should I give him the note myself and ask him a few questions towards why he dumped me?3.Do you think I could try and work things out between me and him or just be friends?4.Should I ignore him for the rest of my life?Thanks for all your help!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (8 March 2006):
 He had his friend dump you because he was to scared and immature to face you himself. This is pretty much par for the course in young teenagers and unfortunately sometimes doesnt improve as they get older.
You best bet is to just ignore it, let it all blow over and then see if you can be friends.
Oh, and how about concentrating on you schoolwork.
;-)
A
female
reader, Angelicc +, writes (8 March 2006):
 hey, you lot are very young and this shown by ho immature you boyfriend was by getting his friend to dumb. getting dumped by text, email and by their friend is very impersonal. he obviously could face you for some reason. if you wish to find out why he dumped you dont do it by note take the mature way of doing a ask him face to face. that way you can really get the true out of him.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (5 March 2006):
 I appreciate your trying to be mature in your outlook about this, but this situation comes down to your trying to demand something of him that he's obviously not capable of giving you; that is, an equally-mature response to your questions.
Think about it this way: if your ex-boyfriend was grown-up enough to care about your feelings (and therefore to bother to respond to your letter), then he wouldn't have sent a friend to deliver his message to you.
But don't despair. Twelve- and thirteen-year-old boys are notoriously fickle in their interests. In other words, it's not that he's rejecting you, hon. He just doesn't know what he wants yet. And because boys lag behind girls in emotional development at your age (they catch up later), you could wait and wait and wait and NEVER get a satisfactory reply from him. He probably just doesn't *know* why he broke up.
You might be expecting too much from him, after all. Age 12 is seriously young to be dating, and the fact that you held his interest for more than a week is a pretty good compliment. Why not just accept that as such, and not put so much pressure on him?
One thing that you'll learn when you start dating seriously is that when someone has lost interest, that's pretty much it. You can try for "closure", you can ask to stay friends, you can try to change things to make yourself more appealing but it's still over. You pull up your socks and move on with your life.
Hanging around and asking for answers won't really give you any satisfaction, even if he could give you the answers -- which he probably can't.
As to "ignoring him for the rest of (your) life", doesn't that sound like a whole lot of work to you? Trying to stay angry and freeze him out as "punishment" for not being a perfect boyfriend? Why bother? Better for everyone that you stay civil, and be friendly when you can. Forget it. It didn't work out. You'll have lots and lots of relationships that don't work out over the next 20 years! The school year will be over soon enough, and you'll be going into high school; you'll have forgotten the hurt by then.
Give yourself a break and just let it go.
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A
female
reader, emma1 +, writes (4 March 2006):
hiya chick,sorry 2 hear bout ur break-up,i no it will be hard 4 u.you are only 12,why dont you forget about giving him the note and find someone nicer,he will probaly be jealous and come running back,in which case yoy tell him no because you are with sum1else.hope things work out xx
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