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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am a divorced 42 years old and have a really special guy in my life who is 45 and also divorced. He is probably the best friend I have right now. We go out as friends to Singles events and I say that I must try and find him a woman.The problem is he always drives, enabling me to drink. When I drink I flirt with other guys and make myself look silly. He doesn't object at all, but I know he is always looking out for me. I find myself asking his permission to dance with another, which he says yes to. When I see him with another woman I find myself interfering and trying distract him. I actually find myself getting jealous of the attention he gets. He treats me really well and seems to know when I am down, but has no comment for me when I talk about the men I exchange numbers with.Why can't seem to forge relationships with other men? I have said he will find a woman to have a relationship with and he says I will too.Last week I invited him back to my place, as I have on a few occasions. Nothing happens, he sleeps on the sofa, as it's too late for him to travel 50 miles back home at 2am in the morning. I said that nobody has treated me so well as he has and something inside me stops me from throwing myself at him. I came down after phoning a guy I met at the singles event that night. I said I had called him, he didn't say much in response, so I kissed him on the forehead and went upstairs. Am I just a confused woman?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2006): No you are not a confused woman? But-I do think you are in love with him. So do you tell him you love him? This is your call. You have the best foundation in place with this guy for an amazing love relationship..friendship and mutual respect. Are you a risk-taker? I would say..take the chance and tell him your true feelings. But accept that this may affect the friendship, either in a good way or a bad way, but at least..you were true to yourself and you were open and honest. If he's not in love with you, then be prepared to go it alone. Any type of rejection and breakup are painful and can be extremely difficult, but they are not the end of the world. Many times, they lead to something better or personal growth that you might not have been aware was needed. It's life..and we learn great and wonderful things from it. But, at the end of the day, we all want someone who wants to be with us. If he doesn't, he doesn't. Someone else will, eventually. good luck and take care
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