A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I get turned on by watching porn and reading kinky stories. I live with my boyfriend and we ahve a healthy sex life but I almost always have to fantasize about someone else or just being in a different environment to get turned on. At work, I go online to read about kinky sex stories so that I can get worked up to prepare for our sex. Without this I feel nothing really and sometimes sex hurts me coz I don't get wet enough. I have not discussed this with my boyfriend and think he will think I am weird if I talk to him about it. Is this normal for women? I always imagined porn stuff was for men?
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female
reader, Aunty_Amber  +, writes (23 July 2008):
 yeah its totally normal...im preetty much the same except i stick to the porn and stories and dont do the sex (im only 13!).basically if it makes you happy stick with it!!!!!....if you dont already have them check out these websites. they include some very ood stories:[moderator note: first link removed. The site contains content that is illegal in the UK]www.clitical.com (click on the erotic stories index)have funx
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 July 2008):
 When you get excited you should get wet although there might be reasons why you do not. Talk with your gynocologist about it since it seems to be a long-term problem.
As a temp fix, you can use lube, water based lubes are best because others can cause infections. They can be easily bought from any decent drug store.
Do you engage in enough foreplay? There are two things that need to happen, you need to get wet but also your vagina has to expand because in normal state it is to short(?) to accomodate a penis fully. Is the pain friction or the feeling he is hitting bottom?
Porn, especially erotic stories are common enough for women to enjoy although many will rather die then admit this. Fantasie can be very important but if you can only get excited from fantasy and not from being with him I think there might be problem. Isn't there a way to act out your favorite stories?
I suggest you do NOT look for porn at work. You could get into serious problems from it, a sysadmin can easily see what you are doing online and most companies have strict policies against this.
I am not sure about SA culture, in the west most men would be very pleased with a woman horny enough to enjoy porn. If you try to act out some of your fantasies he might be pleasantly suprised.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): Are you happy with your boyfriend?
I think looking at porn is normal. I actually got into it by trying to understand why my guy looked at it all the time. But I do think of him in bed. I don't think it's necessarily wrong to think of other people, but I know I thought about other men a lot more often when I was with my ex, who didn't make me happy.
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (22 July 2008):
 Porn is for everyone who wants to watch it.
I like the fact that you took the responsibility for the problem. "I don't get wet, I'll do something about it." When you take the responsibility, you find a solution.
One time, my ex brought a porn movie and said "Want to watch it with me? It's really good." She kind of told me she liked porn without telling me directly.
I didn't care, I like porn too. I didn't care that she watched porn, I was the one who was going to get it after.
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A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (22 July 2008):
 It is normal to get turned on by porn, especially by stories for women. What is not normal, and therefore is cause for concern, is that you cannot seem to engage in sex without it. Sex should be gratifying in an of itself and be BETTER than porn. That you cant get turned on without first engageing in porn tells me something is wrong here.
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