A
female
age
26-29,
*arissalover1
writes:so i have this problem. my problem is the one and only jealousy. i cant control it! i trust my boyfriend with my life, but its the other girls i dont trust. we have had a problem once before concerning another girl who was supposed to be my best friend, but after that incident, my little green spark has flared into a forest fire! he has a good friend who is, as u guessed it, a girl, and i really like her and all but every now and again he discusses a night when she kind of liked a guy, but they didnt tell each other. he says things to her like 'you should have had the balls to do it' and 'do u remember the last time you were to scared?' He's being a friend to her.It hurts me when he says things like this, but i dont want to tell him and have him break up with me or be mad at me or think im being a bitch... i really love him and i really like his friend but i dont know what to do!!! i've cried over this issue a few times and one of my good friends said i should say something, but if i do i have no idea what to say!! any ideas on what u should do/say :(
View related questions:
best friend, jealous, spark Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 April 2011):
 jealousy is not an emotion rooted in love.
JEALOUSY is an emotion that is rooted in INSECURITY.
knowing that often helps folks.
A
male
reader, Dathagen +, writes (21 April 2011):
#1 open communications has to be the foundation for a solid relationship. There is nothing wrong with expressing your feelingsto him. just be sure to do so in a mature manner.try something like this:In a calm environment with no contempt in your tone or on your face, say, I feel _____ when i hear you say ______. I dont want to feel this way but i do and ask that you not say these things in front of me. You can also state what you would like. Maybe you feel more than jealousy, maybe you feel fear that he will abandon you? Fear that you are not as important as she is to him?Jealousy is a valid feeling. It is also designed to give you a warning to pay attention. Thats not to say that you have to act in an irrational way or let your temper get the best of you.In the words of Bruce Lee, "Never give in to your emotions, Emotions can be the enemy, instead, be at one with your emotions, and the body will follow the mind" In other words, embrace the fact that you FEEL jealous. Embrace the anxiety or pit that you feel in your stomach, be at one with it and the pit will go away.No matter what you say, its all in how its said. Say it with kindness and if its not well received, or if its dismissed as you being too sensitive, then he is not sensitive to your needs and its time to trade him in.Good luck, I hate this for you.
...............................
|
