A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My English teacher is one of the top 3 in my life and I am her little pet. I give her multiple presents and cards and I am always complimenting her on the way she teaches. I bring her candy everyday and I make sure she's always having a good day. I over achieve and do 1000X more work that anyone else in my class. I want to make her happy 24/7 and I stand outside her door with her every morning. I have gotten really close to her and I have been telling her alot about my life and she does this with me. I wear this thing on my shirt that says "Team ______" and it has a picture of her that she gave to me on it.With all that being said, I get picked on for being the teachers pet or "suck up". I am not doing this for grades, I am not doing this for any sort of reward. The only reward I want is for her to be there everyday to teach me. Lately though, people have been getting more and more harsh and I feel like this teacher also wants me to kind of take a step back and stop even though she says it's not bothering her. She doesn't seem to be all happy and excited as she used to be. Maybe she's just stressed or having a bad week but maybe it's me.If you are a teacher or were, what would you do? What would you say to the student? Would you ask them to stop?Thanks!Sidenote: I am ONLY doing this to be nice and to show that I appreciate her. She has alot of students put her down and it breaks my heart.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2012): hey hun I thought it was very sweet the things you did to your teacher to brighten up her day a little BUT "She doesn't seem to be all happy and excited as she used to be."1- the novelty has worn off 2- she may be a little scared that you may have feelings for her, cause let's be honest it's not normal to behave like his with your teacher, you can be nice to her, but don't need to give her presents everyday and stop wearing this shirt with team ... It's not only ridiculous but it puts you both in an awkward position, what if the principal thinks there's something wrong with all that? She may be concerned with this... if you were a boy she'd have put a stop to this long ago... When I was at school I'd give chocolate, bring cake, give cards to some of the teachers I liked as well, but that was it... Stop following her around too, it can get annoying.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (29 April 2012):
 I'm with the others. Your displays of affection have far exceeded the bounds of propriety. The 'Team ____' t-shirt is a tad unnerving.Your teacher is a grown woman and while she may appreciate your esteem and enthusiasm for learning, she does not rely on you for her psychological or emotional well being. Teachers talk and joke among themselves as well and they probably chuckle about some of the things they've overheard students say about them. I say this not to humble you but to relieve you of the burden you're carrying around. You don't need to compensate for the actions of others and the effect you assume it has on her. It bothers you more than it bothers her.Tone it down. Leave the t-shirt at home. A small gift and a card at Christmas is fine, but no more than that.
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A
female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX  +, writes (29 April 2012):
 I'd say probably cut down on the gifts~ once every now and again, or on a special occasion like Easter, Christmas or her birthday it would be fine, but every day is over doing it a little in my mind. It's nice that you've got a good relationship with your teacher~ I loved my English teacher when i was in my last 2 years of secondary school, and i drew her the occasional picture and gave her a few presents along with a few compliments here and there, but anymore than that is a bit much. I'd say back off for a little while and see what happens :) If you give her presents in the future, give them when no one else is in the room as no one else would know. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2012): OP, did you ask this question as well?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-i-have-a-chance-with-my-english.html
If so, it's possible that your teacher has picked up the vibe that there is more to your adoration than simple platonic (friendship) feelings, and she may be pulling back to avoid giving you the wrong impression.
If you did not write the question I linked to, then please disregard the above advice. But do understand that being such a "suck up" to your teacher will distance you from your peers, who may not appreciate that you are more loyal to an adult authority figure than people in your own age group. They may feel jealous of the success you achieve this way, or concerned that you will be more likely to "tell" on any of their misbehavior you observe to gain favor with this teacher.
As for your teacher, if she perceives your kindness and admiration as genuine it's doubtful that she will say anything about it to you directly. She probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings. But if you notice her finding subtle ways to distance herself from you, chances are you've overdone it. Remember, teachers are supposed to treat all of their students fairly and equally, and if anyone perceives her as "playing favorites," even if you are the nicest to her, she could get in trouble for that. I hope this helps clear things up :)
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (29 April 2012):
 Ok your teacher probably appreciates your generousity but now its making her uncomfortable: so stop.
I can imagine why the other kids see it as sucking up, because they see the gifts given and they find it strange. It was the same in my school
I had a teacher like yours who was lovely and had so many issues she didnt deserve, so i tried not to *suck up* as that would be difficult for both of us so i gave her kind words instead, and helped her out in the class.
You can tell her nice words and study to achieve top grades without buying her gifts and stuff.
She's a teacher, she's trained to deal with the stress of work. She'll appreciate your kind words more than gifts!
Just concentrate on doing well at school for now.
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