A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my girlfriend for about seven months now, we separated for a month and then got together. Things haven't been the best but we have managed to be together.Last month her friend, G, came to live in our town. I talk to her a lot, as a friend of my girlfriend and today she came to hang out with her bf at my house, who is my cousin. I don't have a problem with it, when she went upstairs, she left me her phone downstairs to edit some photos. I couldn't contain myself and opened her whatsapp to see what my girlfriend had just texted her for there was a notification that came up.What I saw petrified me. My girlfriend has been having other men take her out and give her money to buy some stuff. It was so much I managed to just send the whole chat log to my email and weeding through everything i'm in an utter state of shock.She reiterated time and time again in the chats that she loves me and i'm so perfect for her so I really don't get why she needed additional company. To top it off, she would even rush home to meet up with some of the guys during times when we were hanging out! I'm so hurt to say the least and I'm not sure how to tell her about all this. My plan is really to get her to possibly suffer as much as the hurt she caused me and i'm thinking of acting dumb...then carefully build up our relationship up to a point where i crush everything.I have never felt such anger towards someone and I really want to give her a taste of her own medicine here. what should I do...She doesn't know i know about all this right now.
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cousin, crush, money, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, shellycg  +, writes (1 September 2013):
 Hi There, after reading your questionI want to ask you why you felt the need to go through her phone, there are obviously some trust issues there?Now going through her phone you have found something that has upset you or made you extremely angry, ?The texts could have been when you werent together, but remember this there are 5 different stages of dating you split up and you are back together and you both are at different stages, lets say shes at the uncertain stage (which means she wants to see other guys , as shes not sure whether your relationships, going to work this time around) and you could be at the exclusivity stage where you want to be exclusive and no one else in the relationship. I have been through this, myself, trust me I have and its the hardest part of a relationship, and true love never goes smoothly right?What I did was I talked about the text messages in a non blaming manner, and accepted his explanation. Period. You have to or it will drive you insane, the next thing I did was not to keep throwing it in his face about his activities...you have to accept you are in different stages... this can be cured trust me, you go back a stage but do it very graciously...so she doesnt feel you are pulling back...if she knows you love , understand her and still want to do things for her, she will be happy, just take things slowly.Revenge is NO GOOD its horrible it just eats away at you.The reason why I know it works is because I have read the Book Mars and Venus on a date... please read it... its my bible and has helped me and my partner and we have been together 4 years now - and when we hit rocky times my book comes out and within days or a week or two we are back as we started... !!!! I hope this helps and sorry its long winded, been there and trust me it gets better. xx
A
female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (1 September 2013):
 I understand why you want to do what you want to do but really, I think you would destroy yourself in the process. I think the greatest revenge is indifference. It's incredibly hard because you're burning with rage right now, but I think it would hit her worse if you just walked away, cut all contact and refused to talk about your feelings or try to patch things up. Just act like you don't care.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2013): No she's not a prostitute...that much I am sure.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (1 September 2013):
Is it me or does it sound like she's a prostitute? Maybe it's just business and she really does love you and only needs other people for money?
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