A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a very strange situation and although i have my own opinions and views, others would be appreciated. To summarise, i met a guy who was involved with someone else and told him he could only be with me if he left her, and so he did, he left their joint home and other commitments. We were very happy and i thought i had found my soul mate, however, i found out through him leaving his email open that he was on an escort, and read an email stating am fully booked up at the mo. In disbelief yet not being too niave i took the escorting company details down along with his ''escort name'' and searched the website to find him. There was a photo of just his body- no head on it and to see if it was him I would have to log in and so i set myself up and clicked to view his mobile number and his number popped up. I felt sick yet still didnt believe it. I confronted him and he insisted he only did the phone lines and txts and swore he never physically went with anyone. hard to believe. he also said he was doing it to help a friend who had set up a business in connection with the main escorting site and bascially he would do the chatting on the fone and they would send someone else to do the business (as he said from his own mouth). The profile on the website i.e. eye colour etc matched his. He said that he would get in touch with the guy whose business it is, because his number shouldnt of been put there, he txted-Not called an apparant person stating my girlfriend has seen profile why is my mumber there. This person txt back and said it was an error. He tried using the example of him being an actor like james bond and it didnt mean anything. He said he had only been in touch with 3 girls, and through arguing said he had been doing it for 3 years. You know when I right it down I can see through the lies but I love him and that what hurts. The problem I have is I know he loves me due to the fact he gave everything up for me- he had everything with someone else. Should I keep this factor out of the equation in deciding whether I should take him back? or do you think the fact that he left everything for me and see past the escort business.He said he has taken himslef off now which he has.Please also give your views as to whether you believe the story he told me. As i have blinkers on and still feel he never cheated physically but I would never know. I think a main aspect was the email, as it said am fully booked up as though he was keeping his options open, if he wanted to of stopped it he would of taken himself off. Obvioulsy now I am getting the blame as he is focusing on the fact he gave everything up for me, but I would not have been with a man doing this sort of moonlighting. Opinions, advice appreciated and yes I still love him, but trust I dont.
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male
reader, HelloItsRobert +, writes (26 December 2009):
 Well, I think it's obvious he loves you, as you have already stated yourself, he has given up a lot for you, and after finding the site, he has taken himself off it at your request.
My thinking about the "fully booked up" thing, is just him making an excuse to the guy to not have to do any physical work. He could've just been lying to his employer about his daily schedule, saying that he was booked up so he wouldn't have to physically cheat on you.
He may have done physical work before though, seeing as he's been going for three years, but I do believe while he's been with you he's only been texting.
And if by any chance at all he has done some physical work whilst being with you, it's obvious from what you have said that he loves you, and would do anything for you (such as give up an already steady relationship for you, and having himself being taken from the escort site).
I don't think you have anything to worry about anymore.
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