A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,I've been in several relationships, of which I have been cheated on and pretty much all of them were long, drawn out break ups that included another girl and now I get really worried about little things that my current boyfriend does.I was with him yesterday and I saw he was texting so I said " who ya texting?" casually and he said " Amanda."Amanda is his ex who hates me because when they were together, me and her boyfriend were best mates and she told him never to contact me again because she didn't trust him. Even though he didn't want to follow through with her demands, I said I'd leave him alone because I didn't want to wreck his relationship with her. I just wanted him to be happy.Anyway, they split up a while back and we realised that we liked eachtoehr and got together.Anyway, when I realised he was texting her, I said " You just don't text your ex while you're with your girlfriend." and he said "she's just asking about my court case! I'm sorry but I can text who I want." He only text her about 3 times and in my head, I really didn't mind but I felt sick, nervous, angry and upset. My heart would not stop racing.I don't want my insecurities to wreck what we have.. we haven't been going out for long, but all day today everytime he just glanced at his phone, I felt like I couldn't breathe and felt angry. I don't want to feel like this anymore. Even though he turned to me and said " Are you ok? I don't want to be with Amanda, I just want you. Ok?" And I hugged him and said that I was sorry but I've been messed around so much and he said " I've been cheated on in every single relationship I've had!"so I gues that makes me feel that he wouldn't do that to me... but all day, even now I'm not with him, I can't control the way I feel - such anger and rejection... thinking I'm not good enough. It's driving me insane!I'm a very confident person and I'm happy with how I look and everything, but I can't shake off this feeling that I will be cheated on and I will get rejected. I mean, atleast he told me the truth that he was texting her... But it's making me feel very ill. Any suggestions? I'm sorry it's long. xx
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male
reader, Nick Man  +, writes (11 August 2008):
heyy thats no reason to be upset.
When you stop looking, the one you love will come... and he will not cheat on you becuase he loves you. Becuase he is trustworthy, the perfect man for you. Dont try to say- "oh hes good enough. he will do"
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): It's a shame that you being treated badly in the past is making you feel this way. Your boyfriend sounds like a nice guy, and at least he was honest with you, and you're talking about your feelings, which is a good thing. There's no real easy answer to this I'm afraid. You have to ask yourself this: doesn't he deserve your trust? Him and this girl must have split for a reason, just remember that he is choosing to be with you nowI wish you the best of luck and hope that things work out
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