A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Kind of hard to ask this, it is very personal. I have been sexually active with my new guy for just a week, but I have loved him for a long time. He has gone down on me and I am not sure I have liked it, I suppose I was tense and nervous about it so I didn't appreciated it very much from a physical point of view, but did appreciate the care he put into it. I am asking this because that is a key point in my sex life, I mean, my ex didn't like it, didn't do it and his refusal made me feel unloved, and refused, expecially because i did everything for him. My ex said he liked doing that (he just did it twice) but as soon as we got living together he quit, so he just lied to me to get me to be in a long term relationship with him. My new guy says he likes my smell and taste, but he didnt seem very aroused when he did that, perhaps because i wasn't responding well? Perhaps because he didn't know what to do?. So I kind of got scared he is just going to trick me like my ex did. It is not about oral sex per se, but i dont want to be tricked, I dont want to be with someone who doesnt like my sex organs.Before some guy says something demeaning: I am waxed and damn clean!!!! This is a big issue for me because my ex made me feel cheated and disgusting I dont want to be cheated again!What do you people think?
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my ex, oral sex, sex life, unloved Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am not one of those women who lies about oral sex, and I like giving it, so that is not my problem. My boyfriend seems a very trustworthy person, I am just afraid he will turn out to be like my ex and only give oral to impress me and to receive it from me. I don't like to be tricked, and I want to be compatible before I commit, that is my biggest concern. I understand that my thoughts arise from my past experience and I don't want to punish my boyfriend for that. Just wanted to know what people thought of my concern. Thank you.
A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (3 May 2011):
 It's possible, sure. Many people of both genders will act like they like it but only be lying. (How many women refuse to go down after hooking a man?) But all you can do is find a trustworthy man. And until this guy gives you a reason not to, trust him. Don't punish him for you ex's issues.
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