A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I can't get over the feeling that there something going on between my husband and a woman from his work. They have been friends now for a couple of years but she recently got married and is already having marriage problems. My husband and her constantly talk about their relationship issues and he has started deleting all text messages to and from her. I checked his phone one day and saw he had talked to her twice that day so when I asked him about her he said he hadn't talked to her in a while. I called him out on it and now he deletes his call logs. He tells me I need to trust him but I feel like he is hiding something and covering his tracks. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2011): Your instinct is the best helper you can trust. Ask him and get out (you are still young)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): Rule #1 of affairs, lie, and lie again.
Rule #2 is to lie the most to those who trust you the most.
Unfortunately, this is how they start, this is very common.
"He tells me I need to trust him"
After he lied to you.
Really want to know, hire a private investigator. Or, you can pursue information on your own.
You should call her, and ask her what she is doing with your husband. She will more likely than not lie to you if she is having an affair, but if she isn't you still can't tell.
Then, you call her husband and as him what his wife is doing with your husband.
This blows the issue wide open pretty quick. But, it doesn't preserve your marriage.
I'd suggest a first line be counseling, and when you get your spouse to go then you point blank begin asking about her. No question to awkward to ask, because you are already asking them of yourself.
No matter what, he has lied to you, and you are living in the hell of that.
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A
female
reader, JustAGirl.x  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 from what you have said, i would probably be suspicious too, the fact that he denied getting in contact with her and then the fact that you found out he keeps deleting each text they send to each other.
i would talk to him about it, if he wont give you answers maybe go and speak to the woman and ask why your husband is being so secretive with her?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): As the previous poster stated, go with your gut instinct and don't settle for excuses that don't make any sense. I know a married woman who's having an affair with someone and her husband occasionally will ask her where she's been, or why she's taking so long, and she always has a great excuse. As a matter of fact, I asked her what she would do if she were to be confronted with hard, irrefutable evidence. Her reply was that even if she was caught having sex, she would still deny it and try to explain it. Needles to say, I have very little faith in the institution of marriage......
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): My advice....go with your instincts, wish I had of!! I womans instincts are normally right. I wouldn't trust him, why is he hiding anything from you, if they talk fair enough but why doesn't he tell you about the conversations, if he hasn't anything to hide he wouldn't delete the messages and call logs and he would tell you about his converstions with her.....because he trusts you and loves you!! Go with your instincts is the best advice I can give you. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 If you're suspecting something talk to your husband. There's no use bottling it inside when you can sort it out with him. If you notice anything in his phone you don't like tell him since he deletes them, forward them to your phone - Its lame but necessary. If its decent conversation you should know about it but since you're suspicious it could be more and it could also be nothing. Atimes it may be the lady pressuring ur husband. Ask him how he'll feel if you were always hiding and deleting msgs on your phone. Talk to him nicely, but be firm
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): Maybe hes just helping her as a friend.
If you still have a doubt, you could talk to the woman hes communicating with.
Its okay to suspect things like this.
Let your husband know that you don't like it and if there's something going on between them, he should choose one.
Being single and breaking up is better than being cheated.
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