A
male
age
36-40,
*epal
writes:i am a betrayer.i betrayed my girlfriend somewhat 2 weeks back.Actually, i had a girlfriend in india some 7 years back.i came back to my country(nepal) to continue my college.We couldnot maintain regular communication in middle but got 2-3 letters once in a year.Well, she always asked me to come to india to meet her.but due to financial problems and sometimes due to busy schedule, i couldnot go to meet her in india.Somewhat one and half year ago,i called her up.she told me that she didnot love me anymore. i felt sad but soon got used to it.but no other girl came to my life in all those years.But after 8 months or so, she called me up and said that she still loved me.She said that she was simply angry with me. I was both happy and sad to hear this thing from her.Happy in the sense that I got my lost love. Sad in the sense that I began to doubt her love. I started feeling that she must have been betrayed by some other guy and that’s why she has returned to me.i had lost trust in her.But she started calling me regualarly after this.Then i lost my mother .i felt emotionally weak . i felt sad because i loved my mother very much.At that point of time, another gal came to my life.she supported me emotionally.i didnot love her at first, but as the time passed, i began to admire her.i even began to love her.we talked much about our future and so many things.she trusted me very much.then in my vacation,(20 days ago), i went to visit my old friend in india.it so happened that i met my old girl friend there. on meeting her, i found out that she had really been waiting for me for six years.even my friends told that she really waited for me.This made me love her again. i could feel the old love rising in me again.i was very confused.i had two gals who loved me and whom i loved too.i even had sex with my gal in india.When i told her about my new gf in nepal, she told me to think of my own happiness first.she told me that if i would be happy with another girl, i could go to that gal and leave her.When i came back to nepal, i felt both confused and guilty.i dint know what to do.At last i just confessed about everything to my gf in nepal.this made her heart break. she accused me that i had broken her heart.she asked me why i came to her life?i too feel sad .i feel as if i used her when i needed her . i feel like a betrayer.i feel really sad.i made this decision on one basis only.i had sexual relationship with my indian girlfriend ,whereas i didnot have any such relationship with nepali gf.so i thought that i shouldnot leave my indian gf after having sexual relationship.well.. guys...i dont know what to do..i feel sad but i have no backing.dont know what to do..i cant continue with my old gf and i dont want to .i feel guilty..very guilty..god! please forgive me Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (27 April 2008):
 Very few people manage to go through life being completely faithful in all ways in all relationships, and very few people manage to go through life without causing emotional upset to someone at some time.
You cannot expect to behave perfectly - by your own standards or anyone else's. I don't think you should feel guilty. You have done nothing that millions of other men wouldn't have done, and even if you did not quite manage to maintain your own very high standards you really, really have not done anything wrong. You have taken the best decision you could possibly have made. You may feel sadness for the hurt your former girlfriend in Nepal felt, but you should not feel guilt.
The girl who you marry will be fortunate indeed to have a man whose concern for others is so deep.
|
