A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel like I'm in an utterly impossible position. Where to start? Ok, I'm a first year university student and have feelings for one of my best friends here. Likewise, she has feelings for me. We've only really talked about it the last 4 or so weeks...mostly having come about as the result of drunken texts. There are 2 main issues:1. She already has a long-term boyfriend who she's been seeing for almost 2 years. They recently (sort of) broke up because he cheated on her (albeit only a kiss about a year ago that he only told her recently). For the last 3 weeks they've been 'broken up'. She feels the trust has gone in their relationship but yesterday officially (aka facebook) they're back together. He's coming to visit from about 300 miles away (he goes to a different university) next weekend to try n win her back properly; she told me she feels pressure to get back with him because of the effort he's going to to come here. Obviously she still loves him n visa-versa but something is wrong.2. Myself and this girl are living together in a house (with 3 other friends) next year. We hesitate to do anything because of this...what it if all goes wrong, it could be awkward n we'd be in the same house.However, we've tried everything: from putting up a facade and pretending things are normal to avoiding each other... but the latter only makes things worse. I can't stop thinking about her and neither can she about me, I even have trouble sleeping because of it. I want her so badly n I feel it's more than just lust. I hesitate to use that other 'l' word because nothing has yet happened properly between us (we haven't slept together) so things haven't been able to 'take their natural course'. I feel like we're going round in circles and there's no way out. Help me! Thanks in advance.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): you can only win here - admittedly two different results though.
He comes over and they make up - you spend the rest of your life as her best friend really pleased for her and the 27 kids she has and glad to be such a close friend and proud of how you feel about her and the memorise of a brilliant student house.
Or She doesn't get on with him and you have an opportunity to make something - will it ruin the house ? nah maybe for a while. But not long, really...
you can try and force the issue, give her an ultimatum etc, but think yo are better off seeing - or move into the house and see what happens next. If you are supposed to be together then it will find a way.
Star.x.
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