A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a complicated predicament. So, I was with my boyfriend for a bit over two years, we broke up for a while and he started dating my best friend. This tore me to pieces, it was the worst emotional pain I have ever felt to see them as a couple. They broke up after awhile and my boyfriend and I got back together. We have been back together for 3 months and things are great between us, but this has taken a huge toll on my friendship. I feel like I can't trust my friend and I get super jealous if they get friendly with each other. They are around each other a lot and are still good friends. I don't know what to do or how to deal with my trust problems... I just feel like vomiting when I think of them together. Please help.
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best friend, broke up, got back together, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Artistry +, writes (25 May 2009):
 Hi, I hate to be the other opinion person here, but what about future girfriends. It takes two to tango, your girlfriend could not do this on her own. You need to search your sense of reality regarding your man. Will you hide him away from other women, be careful where you put your trust. Your girlfriend did you a favor by exposing your boyfriend's chosen actions, was he a victim? I don't think so. But this is your life, live it as you please. Take care.
Just don't make excuses for him the next time it happens and it probably will, I'm sorry to say.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys! this helps a lot, i don't think my friendship will ever be the same though....i love my bf and i trust him, just not her. i broke up with him, but i still loved him and will always. she knew how i felt but she rubbed it in my face all the time by sitting on him and stuff. i really hate her sometimes...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): why are you still hanging out wth this supposed friend. she did not think twice to move onto him when you were obviously devastated by the relationship ending. to move on with him now meanss to cut all ties with her - meaning both you and him have to move on without her in your lives. or else this man will be moving back and forth bet the two of you. is this what you want. by him hanging out with her as well there is no closure there with them and they can pick up anytime and resume thie relationship.
plse get rid of her as a "friend"- remember she is not friend and is competing with you for him. you may not see it but it is happening so plse put a stop to her. if your bf doesn't , then maybe you are better of without him?
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (24 May 2009):
Hi, First of all, who broke up with whom? Did he end it or did you? If you ended it then isn't he free to date whomever? Indeed it would be nice if people didn't date their best friend's fellow or girl, but if you didn't want him, what's the problem. Your girlfriend must have liked him while you were dating him. Shame she couldn't find her own man, but crap happens. Next of all why would you want a man who dates your best girlfriend, he knows that will hurt you, it's sort of disrecptful and it will be in your mind forever, forget it how? So I would question everybodies motive here, why he went with her, why she hurt you if she is a friend and why you took him back after he in essence hurt you, regardless of who broke off the relationship? All of you three need a bit of therapy, if you ask me. Find a man who you can trust to not make you miserable even after you break up with him, if you can. Take care, be your own best friend. You might want to check out: www.socyberty.com/writers/quiet+voice.8137. Look for the title "Letting Go: Stop Chasing Ghosts" Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): ive been there huni
its one of the WORST things that could happen you ya i know :( but look how Strong you are being =) i bet ur mate isnt half as strong as you..
"friend" eh? if i was you i would hang out with her much
just be civil.. and u shud ditch that loser guy..HE RAN OFF you to go with ur best friend..seriously?! what is wrong with the guy. you can do MUCH better than that huni. and you know it deep down! x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): Well, I can understand how upsetting that would be for you. When I was your age, my girlfriends came before guys, we honored our friendships by not dating each others exes, it never came up that we had to ask, but we had a code that we would never think of dating each other's ex boyfriends unless we asked her first how she felt about it...usually we just think that we don't want our best girlfriend's boyfriend any way as he is likely doing it to hurt her.
I wonder if things are as great between you and your boyfriend as you say they are. Have you forgiven him, I think going out with your best friend after breaking up with you is kind of mean, he did it most likely to make you jealous which is not an attractive trait in a person.
But I can understand how you may want to stop being friends with your girlfriend at least for some time until you get over your feelings of anger and disgust.....and in time you will. You don't owe her trust, trust is earned, so I don't think you have trust issues to get over, she doesn't deserve your trust and I would make sure that you work out what ever issues you have with your boyfriend as well, don't sweep them under the rug.
Take care.
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