A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This year at college I made friends with two girls who are a couple years younger than me. We all hang out a couple of days during the week and sometimes on the weekends as well. The two of them hang out together almost everyday. Recently we all agreed to live together next year.I have a long distance relationship with my boyfriend of two years. He lives about an hour and a half away so we normally see each other on the weekends. Lately, I've been going over to his town to see him but I still see my friends a couple of times during the week. I thought this was no big deal, as nothing has changed but my friends are getting annoyed that I spend time with him and not them on the weekends. Its not like I cancel plans, because they never make them until last second when I'm already away with my boyfriend. This weekend I dropped the ball and had to cancel plans as I had to drive back to my hometown for my parents. Now, both of them seem annoyed, are ignoring my texts and seem to be teaming up almost as if they're against me. I've tried to have my boyfriend come up to my place more often, but they don't like his friends and often we just want to spend time alone.I am an introverted, shy person who really hasn't had a friend group in a while but I feel like they're being clingy and am hesitant to move in now that they've expressed annoyance about not being there every weekend. Am I right to feel this way or am I being a bad friend?
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male
reader, Garbo +, writes (19 May 2015):
 Your long term interests and gain is to have a good, happy BF therefore I'm suggesting that you disregard the possessiveness that your friends exhibit but keep in mind possessiveness of your BF. You should find ways to repel the pressure of your friends to not hang with your BF and one way is for you not to move in with them. They have a right not to like your BF but then again, nobody cares because he is YOUR Bf. You are being reasonable and I think that you should have a chat with your man about all of this and explain the pressure that you are put under. Work out some solution about it with him and make sure that he understands the stuff with your parents.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 May 2015):
 Nope you are not being a bad friend, they are being a tad selfish, which I supposed it "normal" for their age group. They still think the universe revolves around them. You have BF whom you see as much as you can while being in school - I think it's a little odd that they can't understand that HE is a priority.
Having to cancel last minute is never a great thing, BUT there are times where an emergency arise - like you had where you drove home. They don't seem to understand that either.
I would NOT move in with them.
Maybe it's time you make more friends, maybe someone who is more like yourself (not in need of constant attention).
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