A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello :'( I need help. The bottom line is i should cut my friend - this guy out of my life for good. I dont need this but its all got to weird. I know he wants to be friends but i just want to know why? Because this has truely recked my life and got to other people.Im sorry for asking you to read this because it is stupid and pathetic. Ive loved him for quite a while, people have always thought he had some feelings for me because to them he seemed a little shy around me and not as open. Even thought hes known me longer than them and knows me better.We dont talk much. Its strange he will walk in and talk to the others fine about anything. But not me. Ife he has something to say or we;re just all talking as a group hes fine. He also always goes to walk or sit with them so he can join in with them, as if hes only bothered about them. He livens up around them and just joins in with them. But when i try and speak to him he will answer and then goes quiet. if we are left alone sometimes he will talk othertimes hes just quiet. (hes a pretty shy n quiet guy in general) Hes forveer chnaging one minute hes fine with me the next its just as ive said above.We have met up alone and he wouldnt stay out for long. he doesnt speak much either. If i ask him something he will answer and then just go quiet again. unless he has a story to tell then he will just be normal and talkative. But hes still very quiet with me when we are out.Now this is what will confuse you but the thing is a while back something happened. He asked me to stay out with him and we had an amazing time. We were playfighting alot but i sat on his knee and he started to cuddle me. I thought it was just because we were friends but he was really cuddling me, pulling me tighter, he had his head in my hair and wouldnt let go, just as if we were going out together. He kept putting his head on mine and just messing round with me and really enjoying ourselves. He also he putting his hands in certain places such as on my stomach and my leg. He took me outside at one point and wouldnt look at me, he sounded abit nervous and said "im sorry yeah for the everything in the past n,...." that was it, we were told to go back in so i never found out what he wanted to say. When we did go back in he pulled me back on his knee and held me really close and eventually grabbed my hand and just said that we're great mates. Also on an occasion where i got ill him and a mate walked me home. I was clinging to him abit as i was abit drunk and it took him a while but he eventually started rubbing my arm to comfort me. After that however he held my hand, very slightly the first time and did seem to sure about it. He then put his arm round me and held my hand properly again and put his head on mine. After that he sat behind me and held both my hands, by this time i was just chatting away. Walking home we had our arms round each other and again he went to hold my hand slightly afew times. I held his properly towards the end and to my surpise he didnt let go!! Once we got home we hugged and neither of us really let go he just hugged me more and even when we finally let go i noticed he had his hands on my bum!So yeah, thats pretty much my life story! I cant just give up i need to do something. I CANNOT ask him as he wont talk about it. Hes also said to my mate he wants to be good mates with me so whats in the way. Hes a very nice guy so please dont think something bad of him. I just dont understand. So much has happened and i wont deny it, yes i thought something was going to happen between us that night and that there was something there, but i guess he would have done something by now. Please can you give me your thoughts on what could be wrong so i can figure out the next step. Please dont tell me to cut all contact though as we have the same friends and it wont work out that way. thankyou!
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female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii  +, writes (9 June 2010):
 Hey sweetie :)
Its pretty obvious as you say that cutting ties wouldn't be possible- there are so many social connections you would end up interacting again. Yet his feelings are confusing and potentially confused for him (I sound like I'm talking in riddles but trust me I'm getting to a point) See if you can talk to him just drop hints, don't go straight in and ask as he will retreat pretty quickly. Just see how he is when you try and make conversation, if this doesn't work then think about trying something different
Can help with this if you want- just message me
Good luck =)
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