A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years.. we spend a lot of time together yet I feel like there's a wall between us he doesn't meet my emotional needs and I feel like he doesn't care to put in the effort to keep me.. I know we have been together for a while but its not an excuse to be complacent Ive talked about it with him and things are good for a little then he falls into the same what do I do I don't want to seem like im bitching all the time... do I stay and work it out or is it easier to move on and start new help!!!! ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2013): You hit the nail on the head. You are complacent. You've stuck around even though you're getting nothing out of being there. Don't blame your boyfriend. Accept some responsibility for that.
No one is responsible for your happiness but you. You are unfulfilled; because you stayed where you are, and you're afraid to let go.
You fear venturing out on your own, and taking full control of your life. You were just happy having a boyfriend; even if he had nothing to offer you emotionally. You needed someone to lean on or fall back on. He's been around a long time and he's like an old habit.
YES, YOU SHOULD GO! Give yourself permission to live. Enjoy freedom and independence. Don't just rush into a new relationship after breaking up. That's needy and potentially disastrous.
DO NOT LEAVE ON A MISSION TO FIND ANOTHER MAN.
Go out and find yourself first.
You aren't leaving this relationship just to find a replacement. You'll usually end up getting a duplicate of your ex. You'll settle for what you're used to. You need to first rediscover yourself as a single and independent woman.
Get out there and do some things you want to do. Don't just focus on searching for a man. You'll become frustrated and discouraged. Determine why you've just settled for this situation all this time. You should be happy; but you're not.
You don't need a man. You want love and a healthy relationship, with a man. So you have to work out all the kinks and tweak yourself in preparation.
Your old boyfriend has left you empty and used up. He sucked away your energy. You now lack ambition as woman.
You probably have an over-developed instinct to be a care-giver; and resigned yourself to be a live-in housekeeper.
Try living alone and just taking care of yourself; to reclaim that confidence and the boost of self-esteem that comes with it. You shouldn't be dependent on a man to take care of you.
Men like independent women, contrary to what you may have thought.
Men don't like over-bearing know-it-alls; who have to prove how much they don't need one. They're nut cases.
You've been together since you were kids. You probably seem more like a sister than a girlfriend at this point. What is there to work out, if you haven't been working on it all this time?
You need a fresh start, and to begin a new chapter in you life. I hope you've gotten an education. If you haven't, make that your first priority.
Men will always be available, just take your time to determine what type of guy is really right for you. So sample a few, before you make up your mind. Be patient in the dating world. It's frustrating and scary; but you'll find what you're looking for. You'll learn as you go.
Good luck!
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