A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I grew in a large family with 5 siblings. My mum had a career as a nurse and dad demanded she quit her work to look after is which she resented him for. Dad insisted he would provide for us but struggled to do so. But this was not the case as Dad constantly yelled at us throughout the years. including mum when we asked for basic even like meals, clothes, pen or paper, sanitary towels or school uniform that we have outgrown. My siblings and i worked hard and we are now high paid professions in our various fields. we did so as Dad. constantly reminded us his wealth is not ours. One good thing dad did is he paid for education of first 3 children at very good universities but we did raise funds ourselves for the remaining 2 which was hard. Despite everything dad did the abuses, humiliation for basic things we constantly provide for him and mum now he is too old to work. But he is never grateful still doesn't acknowledge our help, mum feels sad all the time and now wants to leave. i have been holding the family together but i am very close to quitting on him. Is there any point of loving a parent who doesnt show it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 January 2020):
 I kinda agree with Auntie BimBim,
If you mother ACTUALLY and FULLY wants to leave, I would go whatever it takes to get her out of there so she can spend the REST of her life without having her husband yell at her or bully her.
I think she has earned it.
And yes, I would cut visits short with your dad if he gets angry and starts yelling or acts ungrateful. There are limits to what people will accept. Even if he now is an old man, it doesn't mean you have to just blindly accept it. Doesn't mean you have to cut him off completely either. The fact is that THIS is who he is. So if you can only handle that in small doses, do so.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 January 2020):
 Oh your poor mum, it sounds like she may have been bullied for much of her adult life.
Help her move out of there, find her somewhere secure and nice to live, close enough so that everybody can visit and make her feel loved and comfortable.
As for dad, he should qualify for the pension, and he wont need your help if you remind him his wealth is his wealth and that you will all be taking care of mum for a change.
No need to cut him off completely, but if you visit and he starts complaing just say "I don't need to listen to this, I'll come back when you are feeling a little happier" and leave him to it.
He has bullied you all enough, its time you stopped taking it.
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