A
female
age
30-35,
*hining_brighteyess
writes:I'm in a long distance relationship, and have been for almost 7 months. It went pretty well at first, and I thought it was 'perfect' during the summer (but perhaps that was just the honeymoon stage). Once school started, we both began to get very busy, and he started talking to me a lot less. I visited him twice: one weekend it was perfect, we spent the whole weekend together and it was lovely. The other weekend was less than perfect. He was late to pick me up, didn't call when he couldn't hang out so I was left alone the whole day, etc. We did end up having a nice time when we saw each other but I couldn't shake off how he was so irresponsible to not call me and tell me something happened and he couldn't hang out. It's common courtesy.Ever since that weekend, things have been distant. We only have talked occasionally, and not even on the phone. I've tried calling him, but he insists he has work to do and can't talk. I've told him that I was worried he was losing feelings for me and asked if he truly wanted to be with me. He said he still wanted to be with me, and that if I wanted to talk more, I should just talk to him first and see what he's doing/if he can talk.Well, a week went by and no communication, so I talked to him again. This time he got aggravated because he was 'exhausted' and I got aggravated, so I accused him of not wanting to be with me. He claimed I didn't have faith in him and we both got irritated. I told him all I wanted was a little more communication, but he accused me of wanting him to sacrifice his grades and social life in order to talk to me more. Which is absolutely NOT what I was asking- he was just getting defensive. I told him, "How can you expect to be in a relationship if we never talk?" Eventually I asked him "Do you want to break up?". He said he didn't, but if I wasn't happy, maybe we should.I told him I wanted to stay with him, but I needed time to think. So I took time. 2 weeks of no contact, and lots of thinking. A few days ago I texted him saying I was sorry for being accusative, and he said I had nothing to be sorry for, and that my concerns were understandable. He said he had been thinking a lot, but he didn't want to rush into anything and needed time to figure his feelings out, because he still really liked me, but didn't want to stay in this lull in our relationship.I feel like he doesn't care anymore, he's not putting in any effort. He says all of these sweet things, but words are cheap, and I'm getting tired of it. I think he has growing up to do when it comes to how he treats people.Should I just end it?
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female
reader, icpa +, writes (26 November 2009):
Im having the same problem i have a long distance , what i am doing now is not calling him no texting him wich is so hard for me too but im trying so hard to not use my cell phone, but you know what? thats the best way to see if a guy is interested or not, give him the chance to chase u to see what happen.....thats my advice to you..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): HI.. It's funny I'm going through the same thing...I have no idea what to do .. cept my bf is going through depression.
I honestly have no idea what to do. But im coming to the realisation that if someone doesn't appreciate u .. and ur sad more than u are happy.. maybe you should re think things...
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