A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey ppl, i have a question, my boyfriend and i have been in a committed loving relationship for two years, but we had been best friends for one year before, we also live together and are both in college, he is 25 and i am 20, my problem is dat i want to be engaged soon, we cld get married a year or two.later, but i at least want to knw dat we are moving forward, we have friends who have been together less than us and they are already married, i fell like if you lobe someone thn it shld not be a big issue to put ur love before god, his problem with our relationship now is sex, he feels we dnt hve enough sex, on average we hve sex at least 3 times a week, i just feel dat i keep givin my body away and already living i. Sin, but i feel whn i get married then i wld love to have sex more.becuz i wnt be sinning, but he thinks marriage will only cause it to stop, and he feel dat i am pressuring him becuz evrytme someone mentions marriage or a wedding i always bring it to his attention, advice anyone please
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2011): Read the statistics on what happens to most people who marry before the age of 25.
A
female
reader, logarixe +, writes (10 May 2011):
 It seems like you're relatively religious, so I'm just going to throw this out there. If you don't want to hear a moral speech, feel free to look away now.
I'm catholic. I have no idea what you believe, but for catholics, absolutely nothing comes before God. The whole purpose of marriage is to help your spouse get to heaven. And you are completely right--you should most definitely not be having sex outside of marriage because sex symbolizes the relationship that people have with God--giving yourself body and soul to another person. When you're married, you can have all the sex you want!
I know it seems like catholics hate sex, but we just hate sex outside of marriage. That's why there are so many humongous catholic families. We don't like contraception, either.
Plus, three times a week? I'd say that's enough for any decent guy (keyword: decent). You should definitely talk to him about your convictions, and if they're really important to you, you should make them a priority.
Also, if he seems to be afraid of committing to you for the long haul (i.e. the scary word "marriage"), bring up the idea of "engaged to be engaged". It comes with a promise ring, which I realize is horribly outdated, but it's the thought and the meaning that counts; it means that you are committed to one another, and are seriously considering (keyword) marriage. It would be a baby step forward for you guys, which shouldn't scare him too much.
I totally understand if this isn't want you wanted to hear. I've lived in a catholic bubble my whole life, so I jump on anything having to do with morals :/
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A
male
reader, latinoheat +, writes (10 May 2011):
As a male I understand we can be insensative to your needs. He can not read your mind. You need to tell him. That is where the true test comes. If he doesnt respect it than I hate to tell you hes just using you for the sex. Im telling you if he loves you he will respect your wishes. Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2011): It sounds like he isn't ready to commit to "life" with you, and might be using sex as a reason. Three times a week is plenty, I think.
Try upping the amount of sex a little and see how he reacts. If he's still not satisfied, maybe you two aren't as compatible as you think.
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