A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there! Well I'm not sure if I am just going through a phase or is this serious because I am talking with someone for well over a year now. I am not in college right now but I was planning on to but things changed.So for orientation day I met someone from the past and he recognized me as did I. Well in that I just confronted him if we had gone to the same school and he said yes and also thought that I didn't recognize but I obviously clarified that. Well throughout orientation we were together most of the time but it felt awkward for me b/c his ex was there with us in th same group and we all went to the same school. So the tour guide was speaking about how we could makes groups etc. and he pointed at me and him working together and his ex saw. It was very awkward since she was right in front of us looking at me and him. I didn't feel comfortable after. So basically we hung out throughout the whole day. Since I decided not to go in college anymore I was able to see him the same week school started since I am currently getting my schedule ready for next year. We talked and walked since he had a good amount of time before his class started. Then 3 weeks after he saw me and I had butterflies in my stomach,though I don't know why I did. I mean I am sort of seeing someone but I have this loyalty to him and I don't want to betray him since he has had a hard time with his past relationship. So when I am around this friend of mine I immediately get anxious, feel happy and get this squirmish feeling I. The pit of my stomach. I tried to control it when I went back to college to work on an application. So when he saw me the third he did say "hi friend." With a smile, hugged me and I felt so good but bad. so we literally hung out for 2hrs almost 3. Alone until we found our friends but before our friends were with us, we were having a blast! Laughing, joking and being so friendly with 1 another. He finally gave me his # and I exchanged mine as well after this looooooonnnnggg talk. I can't do this with the other person I'm talking to b/c he's very much serious doesn't really try to understand what I am saying since I am a complete different person with him. I have no idea if it's b/c he's 5 years older than me or not.i have tried being myself around him but it's as if he's not wanting that. But I do feel that I am unhappy with him b/c he's not attentive or communicates with me b/c of his work which I completely understand why. Though I wish that we could have time to talk or do things couples do. I would like for him to be a little more open and trusting too but I also know people have a limit and it takes time but I can't understand why he is not trying much. So when I get upset and confront him of things about how I am feeling he brushes it off then tells me how I need to stop being insecure b/c it makes me look very unattractive and that we will work things out together. I don't see that at all b/c its me looking for him calling him and texting him. So when he hears my tv over the phone sometimes he's always saying who's with you, where are you at and who are you with. I don't tell him that he's looking very unattractive by being insecure. I let him know the truth as always and wait by the phone for him to text or call me but I get nothing. But this guy that I've know from before is around my age, very intelligent, compassionate and a real people person. He's everything the other guy I've known for a while is but the difference is that he likes to communicate and be himself. The other one showed me this side before but in time he stopped communicating and being himself with me. That's what I miss the most and now I don't feel happy. I feel like I want to move on and get rid of this guilt off of me. I have thoughts of ending things with him in order to pursue the other guy I've been recently talking to. But I also want to address this issue with him to see if he will change my mind regarding to what I have to say and see if I can overcome this situation. What is your opinion? Thanks !
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female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (23 September 2014):
I think you should go for it, and while doing so get to know him better as a friend and as a person. Hang out together, go to the movies or for a coffee somewhere, and see if you will be compatible.good luck :)
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