A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, i’m not sure where to begin but here goes, I’m an only child and very very close to my mum and dad, they are like my best friends and we’ve always had a real close bond. I’ve been with my girlfriend for 2 years now, she has 2 children, and about a year ago we spoke about buying my mum and dads house as my mum and dad were thinking of down sizing at some point.My mum and dad built their house before I was born. Anyway, the time has come and today is the move in day. I am uncontrollably upset, memories from over the years keep flooding into my mind and I just break into tears, and although they’ve been ok with moving I can’t help but feel like I’ve pushed them out. As I sit writing this, I’m in the old kitchen, all I can see is blankness, they arnt here and my heart feels like it’s being torn out. I know this will sound so strange to everyone but it’s how I’m feeling and no matter what my mum and dad say, I just feel so low. It is supposed to be a good time but I just feel awful.If anyone can try to understand and help, I’d be so greatful!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2019): It's hard letting-go of what's familiar; and even harder when it's time for change. You obviously had a great childhood; but you're now starting a family of your own. It's nice to continue doing that in the loving home you used to live in. The very house you grew-up in and where all your cherished-memories remain. Now a new generation will thrive in the very place where your parents started.
If your parents didn't want to downsize or leave, they wouldn't have come this far. It's you going through all this anxiety and guilt. It's understood, because you also feel like you've interrupted what was good; and always kept you in your comfort-zone. You have to give-up your boyhood. I think you're more bothered by that, than the fact your parents are moving-out.
Time to grow-up, and maybe you'll pass the homestead on yet again to another generation. Everything you know and remember still lives there in the form of memories. As an adult, and the continuation of a generation, that's enough. They can visit as much as they like; and a financial-burden has been lifted, giving them more freedom as empty-nesters in their twilight-years!
You are a gentle and kind-hearted person. They can always rely on you to be there for them; and even to take them in, should anything unforeseen occur.
It's refreshing to read a post from someone who isn't self-centered and feeling totally "entitled." Unless you finagled or pressured your folks out of the house; there is no need to feel bad about it. Just take good care of it, and make sure you keep the love in it that you've known all your life.
God bless you, sir!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2019): Your parents made the decision of their own free will. I suspect your sadness is rooted in acknowledging that they won't always be in your life, and that them downsizing and moving onto a new stage of life has awoken that fear and anxiety of them dying. Even if they're still relatively young any big change will remind you that life keeps changing. Those are normal feelings. Acknowledge them, accept them. You'll feel better soon.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (17 September 2019):
 What a fantastic opportunity you find yourself in. Totally agree with Honeypie that the home stays in the family. I highly doubt your parents would make such a decision other than knowing just how special the home means to you as much as it did to them. Old memories and future memories, what an exciting new chapter for you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 September 2019):
 Are they happy with their new smaller home? If so, think of it as KEEPING this family house IN the family.
Mt brother and sister-in-law wanted to buy our grandmother's house when she passed but out aunt wanted more money and refused to sell it to them (which also meant SHE could keep living on the house until the sale). So refused SO many offers for HER own selfish goal of not having to move. The rest of the family was kind of sad when the house DID sell (for less then my brother had offered) because it was no longer in the family. This house had been a wedding present to my grandmother and her second husband. It would have been nice to see it still in family hands. But, that is how it goes.
My dad sold their second house (holiday home) after my mom died. And I recently saw pictures of WHAT they new owner did to it... it's unrecognizable :( and not in good way. But again, they have to put their own spin on the place.
Enjoy EVERY little nook and cranny, OP maybe the kids will come to appreciate the house as much as you did as a kid.
Go visit your folks. Tell them you love them and just spend time with them. If you plan on improvements ASK your parents for advice (they'll love that)
Time to make MORE memories with this house :)
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